If not for Christmas…

…by New Year’s night…?

After all these whispers and questions and comments about Finn being home for Christmas, including more yesterday, Britt and I finally got up the nerve to ask a doctor – the only ones who can tell us for sure.  And no, Finn won’t be home for Christmas.  While we are a bit disappointed, we can’t help but be thankful for how far he has come!  The doctor told us yesterday that 9 out of 10 babies with his exact circumstances (25 week gestation birth, under 2 pound birth weight, 7 weeks on a ventilator, etc) would not be faring as well as he has.  Everyone is still really shocked at how well he has taken to the bottle.  He just needs more time to grow bigger and get new pink lung tissue to help overcome the chronic lung disease.  It just takes time.  And patience.

So, now we are hoping for the end of the year.  I know that’s only a week out from Christmas, but for insurance purposes, that would really be helpful.  Of course, we want him to be as healthy as possible before he joins our crazy household, so we will do what the doctors advise us to do, but we sure could use some BIG prayers for a New Year’s Eve homecoming!  That will be some kind of party at midnight if it happens!

We were able to go back to bottle feeding yesterday.  I fed him a bottle at 8, 2 and 5.  His 11 o’clock feeding we gavaged since he was SO asleep all the prodding and noise we were making didn’t even cause a stir.  He was kind of fussy after the 8 o’clock feeding and stayed awake for quite a while, so I guess he was just worn out.  I told Britt I gave him a C+ for that first bottle.  He gulped and held his breath a lot for the first half, but then got the hang of it again and did well.  He gets a C- for the 2:00.  He kept de-satting (his oxygen saturation level goes below the desired level and makes the alarm go off), so we stopped a lot, but he still drank the whole thing in the 30 minutes allotted.  Then, the 5:00 he got a solid B.  Did well; his sats only dipped twice – and neither time set off the alarm.  He just needed to get back in the swing of things!  Sounds like he did about the same overnight, as well.  Back on the right track now!

While his breathing and oxygen levels are getting better, it is a slow climb.  His machine last night was set to 3.5 liters per minute of flow, and early this morning it was at 78% oxygen. That’s down from the 4.0L and 100% we had Tuesday night!  He has to get down to 1 L to come home.  He will be at 100% at that point, but that’s the flow they need for him to be comfortable at and still converting the oxygen as needed.  There is no telling how long that can take, but late this morning they turned the flow down to 3.0 and his oxygen up t 100%! We are THRILLED with this development.  He just has to keep getting new lung tissue every day and keep working on his bottle feeding to get better.  The nurse practitioner (that changed the oxygen settings) told us to GET READY!  So, we have signed up for the final NICU parenting class, as well as infant CPR next week, so we can be ready!

Today, Britt is getting some cuddle time in with his son.  Long overdue!  It’s been a crazy week!  Loving the holiday season, and being able to celebrate our own little miracle.  At the same time, glad to see the tumultuous year of 2011 come to a close.  Bring on 2012!  I now know I can survive just about anything that’s thrown at me!

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

WOW! So much has happened the past few days!  It seems like things were doing a two-step (one step forward, two steps back) for such a long time, then everything was just stagnant with nothing happening, then the last week or so, things have been moving forward QUICKLY!  We are really looking good for this “home by Christmas” dream we have had.  Finn is doing very well, hitting milestones, and getting bigger and cuter everyday!  We’ve had a few “too cute for words” moments this week, and I want to share some pictures and events with you.

On Monday, I stayed in the NICU later than I usually do.  They were due to draw a blood gas at 5, and I wanted to stay for that, then I decided to stay for the 8 o’clock hands on as well so I would know who the night nurse was.  SO GLAD I DID!  Finn’s night nurse decided he needed a bath, and she wanted me to help out.  Since he was still on the CPAP, the RT was in there to help as well.  The nurse made us a tub of water, and the RT had me holding an oxygen tube up to his nose to keep his oxygen saturation up. Another of our favorite nurses just happened by to see what we were doing since we had the big overhead lights on, and I asked her to grab my camera out of my purse, and she took pictures:

So, how many people does it take to bath a 4 pound baby?  (Well, he was only 3 pounds 15 ounces at that point.)  I guess 4 is the right answer!  The RT was using one of her tools to make bubbles in the water, and he had lots of personal attention, so we called it is his spa treatment.  I am still a little nervous with the feeding tube in his nose that I pulled out last time, so I had the nurse wash his hair.  After we were done “playing,” we put clean clothes on him, wrapped him all up, and put him back to bed!

I spent part of the day Tuesday in the NICU as well.  Nothing much happened that day.  I got to hold him for a long while, but then headed back to Stillwater to be ready for my surgery on Wednesday.  When we called for a weight check late on Tuesday night, Finn had hit another one of his milestones!  He weighed in at FOUR POUNDS!!!!!  Wednesday morning was an early morning at our house (the big kids spent the night at Nana and Grandpa’s), as we had to check in for surgery at 6:00am.  Everything went well (from what I know – apparently there was a problem with my chest tube), and I was home by 10:30am.  Asleep by 11 and sacked out most of the day!  Wednesday night, Finn weighed in at 4 pounds 2.2 ounces.

Yesterday, I was planning on just keeping a low profile and sleeping all day.  One of our doctors called about 8:30 am and said that they had REMOVED THE CPAP!!!!  Finn was doing ALL of his own breathing, just on a nasal cannula for oxygen support!  THIS. IS. HUGE!!!!!  Because, as soon as he tolerates that well (which he did all day), they can start bottle feeding him.  Once he is taking all of his feedings through a bottle, HE CAN COME HOME!  Christmas is a mere 23 days away…  So, after celebrating that news, I took a nap.  Around noon, our nurse called (I assumed that she was calling to say he was back on CPAP) to tell me they were almost out of breast milk.  YIKES!  I called Britt to tell him we needed to get down there, so he took the afternoon off.  What better reason to HAVE to go down there and see him only on a nasal cannula!

While we were there, Britt and I each took a turn holding him, and we also asked the nurse if we could “play” with him.  She said, “SURE!” in a very happy tone, and  then said, “Wait! What kind of play?”  LOL!  We wanted to use a couple of props and take some Christmas card pictures.  Those will have to stay under wraps until we get our card done.  Your sneak peek is the lead picture – those are his feet from the adorable Christmas outfit he had on!

So, here we are on a happy Friday.  Finn weighed in at 4 pounds 3.3 ounces last night.  They are very close to starting bottle feeding.  (I’m not real clear on when this will happen.  My nurse on Monday said they won’t do it without me there, and I’m not going back until tomorrow afternoon)  And we are VERY close to bringing him home.  It really is beginning to look like Christmas!  (But not in my house.  Jake is very frustrated that we have not decorated yet!)

Wheels Keep Turning

I can’t believe I have let a whole week go by since I last blogged!  Finn is still taking baby steps forward.  And I do mean baby steps!  Very small steps.  Every day!  He seems to gain weight in spurts!  He’ll gain 2 ounces in 24 hours, then maintain that weight for 2 days! LOL!  As of last night, he is up to 3 pounds 8 ounces!  4 ounces from doubling his birth weight!  And the respirator is almost the same story.  We were told once we got the rate down to 10 and he tolerated it, we would get off of it.  Well, it has been at a rate of 10 for 3 days now, and he still has it.  Because, yesterday, they had to turn the pressure up. We were really ready for him to be done with that form of breathing support this weekend.  It was 2 Saturdays ago that the Doctor said we would be off in 2 weeks.  We really expected it to be gone yesterday, but late last night when I got here, it was still there.  He has been discontinued off all medications (no infections, stopped the diuretic) at this point now, and his chest x-ray was clear yesterday.  They reduced his feedings a bit (from 28 down to 26 cc’s) to help keep fluid off his chest.

Here is a little update from last Thursday for perspective:

* they started giving him some caffeine to stimulate breathing
* nurse thought he wasn't quite himself this morning so they drew some blood for testing. CBC and a CRP to check for infection.
* CBC was normal and the CRP was slightly elevated by the Dr is not concerned at this point. Will repeat a CBC and CRP in the morning.
* Blood count is a little low but not at a worrisome level. They have started him on an iron supplement.
* Blood gas was drawn at 2 and another will be drawn at 8. This is being done to continue weaning his rate on the vent.
* When we arrived at the hospital yesterday, his rate was at 22. We were VERY surprised!! This morning the rate was down to 17. The reason we are eagerly watching this number is because when the rate goes down to 10-12 ... they will EXTUBATE and we will be OFF THE RESPIRATOR!!

Friday, I got to hold him like a BABY!  Kangaroo care is great, but it is a bit awkward, you are 1/2 naked, and you have to be very still.  This was more comfortable and natural:

And again on Sunday - this time he was more alert!

I don’t know what kept me from blogging this past week.  It was a little busy, but not too bad.  Back and forth from the city a few times, my 6 week postpartum check (and pap smear – YUCK), took the big girls to the dentist, picked my cousin and her 13 month old son up from the airport, and saw Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 1 TWICE! (Don’t judge!)  But, it has been an emotional week beyond the busy-ness.  Besides all the emotional strain our family was under, my OSU Cowboy family suffered a great loss this past Thursday when a plane carrying 2 of our women’s basketball coaches went down in Arkansas while on a recruiting trip.  All 4 occupants were killed.  The pilots were OSU alums who had agreed to fly Head Coach Kurt Budke and assistant coach Miranda Serna for a recruiting trip.  I got the call early Friday morning from a friend, before the media got a hold of the story, and it truly brought back memories of the crash 10 years ago that killed 10 people with the OSU men’s basketball program.  How could it have happened again?  To our program, our school, our community?  We lost so much on Thursday when that plane went down. I knew both of the coaches from my time in the Athletics Department, and Britt had talked to Miranda about our family just the other day.  They will both be dearly missed.  While my body is in Oklahoma City today with my baby, my heart will be in Gallagher Iba Arena at 1pm when the memorial service starts.  I am wearing my orange today for them.

I am currently in the lounge at the NICU waiting for the time to come for me to change Finn’s diaper, take his temperature, and see how he is doing this morning.  His night nurse saw me in here and told me we are back down on the pressure on the ventilator, so maybe in the next 2 days they will extubate! We can only hope!  As for me, I am doing OK.  Everyone keeps telling me I look good, so I am either good at faking it, or the pace and stress I am keeping up under is making me look better to others!  LOL!  I don’t know, but I’ll take the complements.  I was just thinking this morning about how since Finn was born, I have not spent more than 4 nights in a row in the same bed.  And that was the first week when I was with my friends in OKC and couldn’t drive yet, and then again at home when I was in Stillwater for Homecoming / Halloween weekend.  WOW!  This Wednesday will mark 7 weeks in the NICU.  7 long weeks.  But so worth it!  I was told by a nurse last night that I should have him home for Christmas.  I promptly sang “All I Want for Christmas is You” to Finn.  He liked it!  So do I.