Due Date

Today, January 6, 2012, is my due date. Today was the day our baby boy was supposed to be here.  It is hard to imagine that he is 3 months old.  Especially when I am still in the “newborn fog” as sleep and showers are almost non-existent since his homecoming.  Finn seems to be adjusting to his new environment pretty well.  We have gotten the temperature issues under control, and he is eating like a CHAMP!  He has the chubby chipmunk cheeks and rolly polly belly to prove it!  The last 4 days have been a bit nuts with all 3 of the big kids home, too, but he seems to be weathering the storm well!  We are really enjoying this time as a family, and we know it will all change again when school starts back for them on Monday and the routine has to get back on track, and it will just be the two of us home all day.

Finn turned 3 months old (by the calendar) yesterday.  I am not sure how much he weighs exactly (I sure miss nightly weight checks!), but based on how he was gaining the last week he was in the NICU and the first few days home, I would say he is right around 7 pounds.  We are still keeping him on the 5-8-11-2 schedule, but he seems to be modifying it on his own.  The last 3 nights have been a bit unpredictable.  He seems to want to eat twice at 11, and then sleep 4 hours.  That right there shows me he is adjusting to being HOME and he knows he is in charge here!  We are going to keep this schedule as best we can for a few more days, then we will let him set the pace a little more.  He also seems to have his days and nights mixed up!  He literally sleeps all day during the daylight hours, and then he is more awake after 8pm.  And, like WIDE AWAKE from 11pm to 2am.  NICE!  My mom was just complaining last night how she never sees him with his eyes open.  That’s because she’s not here when he’s awake! LOL! 

If you didn’t already know, Finn’s “room” is simply the north wall of the master bedroom.  So, his crib is a mere 4 feet from my side of our bed.  When Jake was a newborn, we had him sleeping in a pack-n-play in our room.  It only lasted a few nights as Britt couldn’t sleep through all the noises Jake made when he slept.  That’s a WHOLE NEW challenge with Finn since he has his oxygen machine in the room as well -- and that’s a noisy contraption!  Last night we would get Finn to sleep, and then he would just whine and fuss and sputter and cry.  When we went to his bedside to replace his paci and rub his back, he would settle down and fall back to sleep, but then when we wearily climbed back in to bed, he would fuss again!  The solution?  We put him in the Fisher Price Rock and Play Sleeper *right next to* our bed.  He slept GREAT after that!  I guess he was just lonely.  Sweet boy!  4 feet away was just too far…

Today brings up a lot of emotions.  I’m sad I didn’t get to experience Finn’s birth the way I thought it was going to be.  I feel bad for Finn that I was unable to provide the perfect environment for him after 26 weeks and 5 days, and he had to enter this world in an emergency situation and be poked, prodded, hooked up, looked at, handled, medicated, intubated, tube fed, and otherwise just messed with when he should have been hanging out in the womb.  I ache for my family and all the sacrifices they have had to make over the past 5 months – I know they were troopers, but I know my other kids missed me and suffered from my absence.  But, I am also thrilled that Finn is here, home and (mostly) healthy.  I am proud of Emma and Lara and the young ladies they are becoming right before my eyes as they care for their fragile baby brother.  I light up with joy at the smile on Jake’s face when he looks at or smiles at or kisses his sweet little brother.  And I absolutely melt when I see Britt being the awesome Dad he is to all our kids, but especially this baby that we ALL had to work so hard for.  I love the little smiles Finn gives us, and the moments he makes eye contact with his (finally) blue eyes.  I relish the quiet moments when I can just cuddle him and watch him sleep.  And I am truly blessed by all the lessons he has taught me and allowed me to be a part of during his precious life.

This morning I saw where Britt had posted a beautiful status on the “Early Adventure of Finn” facebook page.  It truly sums up the way we are feeling today:

And tomorrow?  Britt and I will mark 6 years of marriage! Another fact I have a hard time wrapping my mind around.  Some days it feels like we have been together for a lot longer, and other times it seems like my fairy tale wedding was just yesterday.  While we will celebrate this day, it might not be the same commemorative date night we are used to.  We will be home with our 4 kids, quietly looking back on the journey God had led us on over the past few years.  And all our MANY blessings will be counted.  Love Never Fails.

HAPPY New Year!

WHEW!  We made it!  I am sitting in my living room, with my husband beside me, my tiny son on his chest, and my other 3 kids playing together (loudly) with Christmas presents on the floor.  Our TV is blaring a mindless game show, there are baby things scattered about, and the whole house could use a good cleaning.  And, my heart is FULL.  There have been times this past year I didn’t think I would feel this way again.  We are SO blessed and so thankful as we turn the page to 2012.  It has been QUITE a journey to get to this point, and we have been so loved by so many, we will never be able to acknowledge or repay everyone’s thoughtfulness and generosity.  Looking back (and forward, for that matter), I know we would have never made it without all of YOU, and we are eternally appreciative.  “Thank You” just doesn’t seem adequate.

As of right now, we have been home for 4 days.  As parents, Britt and I are exhausted.  We have had to learn so much about taking care of a preemie baby who is on a heart and respiration monitor, as well as oxygen.  This is much more intense than I thought it would be.  Add to that, we were advised by our NICU team to keep him on the 3 hour feed schedule for the first 2 weeks as he adjusts to his new environment.  So, we have all kinds of alarms set on our phones to make sure we are awake and we feed Finn at 5, 8, 11 and 2 – am AND pm!!!!  We are only sleeping for short periods of time…  We got home on Wednesday about noon, and the first few hours we spent just trying to get situated.  The home health guy came out later in the afternoon to set up the concentrator and to leave us with some oxygen tanks to keep up going.  I am thankful for my small house.  I only have about 30 feet of tubing from the oxygen machine to Finn.  That means, you can’t go far with him before either hooking him up to a portable oxygen tank, or moving the concentrator to another room.  I have had a few instances in the past few days where that frustrates me.  I hate having to leave him in the back of the house while I go to the front of the house, but sometimes moving his equipment just isn’t an option.  Add to that the monitor.  Its cord is only about 5 feet long.  Luckily, it can be unplugged and runs on battery, but the battery life is only about 3 hours.  If the battery gets low, it alarms.  If the leads on the baby move, it alarms; if the cords from the baby to the machine are loose or get unplugged, it alarms.  And the alarm? LOUD!  And startling.  Luckily, we have not had any “baby” alarms, just “equipment” alarms.  The machine would alarm if the baby has a problem if his heart rate was above or below a preset limit, or if he doesn’t take a breath for more than 20 seconds.  So far, we have not had any of those kinds of alarms. YAY!  Oh – and you know when else it alarms?  If you don’t turn it off “right.”  For some reason, Britt and I both have had a hard time remembering those instructions!  We have to turn it off to bathe Finn and to change the leads everyday… We’re getting better!

We have had a few “newborn” moments that we’ve had to deal with.  We have had some issues with Finn acclimating to the temperature of our home and maintaining his body temperature.  Doesn’t help that the Oklahoma weather has been crazy!  It was 70 yesterday!  But 3 days ago it was 40 and tomorrow it will be COLD.  We’ve had the heater on, nothing on but fans, and then even the A/C on yesterday.  SHEESH!  We were advised when we left the NICU to take his temperature every 3 hours to make sure he was acclimating.  After a bath on Wednesday, he was a bit cool, so, I dressed him, Britt warmed a hat and blanket in the clothes drier, and we put him down to nap dressed like that.  Next time we checked him, you guessed it, he was super warm! LOL!  This has gone the other way, too.  Had him swaddled, decided he was too hot, took off a layer, checked again later, he was too cold!  Day four (and a new thermometer) and we are finally evening out on this issue.  (We were using the same thermometer from the hospital as advised and taking his temp under his arm, but the leads from the monitor were interfering with this reading and saying he had a low temperature over and over and over, so we bought a behind the ear version and have had much better luck with it.)

The only super scary moment we have had was during the evening on Wednesday night.  Finn was sleeping in his bouncy seat, and it was time for his next temperature check / diaper change / feeding.  Britt got him out of the seat to get to work on him while I fetched a bottle (I am still pumping, but we chose to feed him from bottles to be able to keep track of his intake better).  I came in to our darkened living room, and Britt mentioned that Finn looked like he was glowing blue from the reflection from our big TV.  When he picked Finn up to cuddle him, I could see the baby didn’t look ”right.”  And he wasn’t just blue, he was GRAY!  I told Britt something was wrong with the baby, and we immediately flipped on the overhead light, and started rubbing Finn’s back.  Britt – the quick thinker between us – immediately disconnected Finn from the home oxygen concentrator machine and hooked him to an oxygen canister that was sitting nearby.  Finn immediately started to pink up, and after a few minutes, we decided to try to feed him to see if that would help.  Finn recovered from this episode very quickly, but now we had to find out WHY this happened to our precious baby.  Britt began examining all the equipment, and found that there was a loose connection on the concentrator.  Even though we discovered that, we still didn’t trust the machine, so that night Finn used one of our large canisters for sleeping.  WHEW!

Thursday, we had trouble with the machine maintaining the flow pressure.  Finn is supposed to be at ¾ of a liter. The machine kept falling down between ¾ and ½.  While we hope to wean Finn to that soon, right now as he adjusts to everything else, we want him to have ALL of the support he needs.  So, that day, we spent a lot of time on the canister as well – including overnight.  Friday, we put a call in to the home heath guy to see if he could help up with the problem.  He walked Britt through a few steps, and since then we have had no problems with the machine, and Finn has been able to spend his last 2 overnights hooked to it.  We have also moved it to new places in the house to see if that helps with the cord issues, and that has made the set up a little different, as well.  Having Finn on the machine more is good, because those large oxygen canisters are kind of pricey!  We went through 2 in 2 days!

Also on Friday, he had his first visit with our local pediatrician!  I was so pleased when we got there and the staff immediately put us in an exam room to get us out of the germy lobby.  SO thankful for that!  The exam went well, and she told us we were doing a good job and that Finn was PERFECT!  But, we already knew that.  He weighed in at 6 pounds 6 ounces!  Growing so well!  He does have 2 hernias – the obvious umbilical one as well as one in his left groin, but we will address those when he is older.  We don’t have to go back and see her for 3 weeks –unless we just need to!  Time to stay home and stay healthy.

The last 2 days have been pretty smooth, aside from the tiredness!  Emma and Lara FINALLY returned from Christmas with their other dad yesterday afternoon, and I got the first picture of all 4 kids in our home. 

They hadn’t been here an hour when they left to go to a friend’s house for a New Year’s Eve sleepover!  Social butterflies!  We are adjusting to being a complete family of 6.  We get dad home for one more day before he goes back to work.  My big kids don’t go back to school for another WEEK, so I will be with all 4 kids all day for the rest of this week.  Please pray for my patience! LOL!  It is a challenge keeping every one fed, entertained, clean and dry - and to keep reminding them not to step on, trip over, kink or otherwise disturb all the cords and wires crisscrossing our house!  But, I am so looking forward to it.  THIS is my purpose! 

Rooming In

It is 6:00 in the morning, and I just spent my first full night with my son!  We were “on our own” for the night, and it started out a little rough! But more on that in a minute!  First, I have to tell about our Christmas celebrations and the way our family made a hard time for everyone into a special one!

Last I blogged, it was Thursday.  That was the last day of school for the kids before a 2 week break.  I spent the day running errands all over Stillwater, attending Britt’s work holiday lunch, Jake’s winter class party, and finishing up preparations for the weekend and week ahead.  Friday morning, we got up, and the Five Dream Weavers loaded up in Derek and headed to see Mr. Finn.  The kids were excited since they hadn’t been to the NICU in a few days, and we spent the whole day up here on Friday.  Saturday, our Christmas extravaganza and present palooza started!  We got up that morning and began cleaning the house a bit, and then Nana and Grandpa came over for the first round of gifts.  It was super fun since these were the first gifts the kids were opening, so they were OVER THE TOP excited.  Emma, Lara AND Jake  all got Fijit Friends, so OF COURSE, all the friends went with us to the hospital:

After my parents left our house, we came to Mercy to see Finn.  We realized we had never gotten a picture of all four of our kids in the same place.  It was time to remedy that situation – and here is the result!

We didn’t stay with Finn too long, as we had to get back to Stillwater for Christmas Eve with my grandparents.  We had a nice turkey dinner, and after dinner all the big kids were running and laughing and playing – having a good time!  UNTIL!  Jake puked all over me, the couch, the living room, himself, and the even the bathroom by the time Britt got him there!  This put present opening on hold until Britt could go back to our house and get clean clothes for me and Jake.  While he was gone, Jake was stripped down to his underwear, and running around playing again.  We attributed the puke to the fact that he ate 18 Krispy Kreme donut holes AND a whole donut on the ride home from OKC.  The kids all got clothes from my grandmother, so the presents weren’t as exciting (to the kids), but I sure am thankful for the new duds!  When we got back to our house, the kids donned their new pajamas, set out sushi for Santa, and listened to Dad read “’Twas The Night Before Christmas” and went straight to bed!

Sunday, Christmas Day, started out with just the five of us, in our own living room. The kids tore into their stockings, opened the gifts from Mom and Dad, and played their little hearts out while our traditional breakfast of Birthday Cake for Jesus was set out.  Between playing with their new toys, they kids HAD to get dressed – there was STILL more Christmas to come!  (One of my Christmas surprises? Starting my first post-partum period!  Between that and the puke the night before, I was thinking the universe was against me!) When we got them all moving, we headed to Aunt Paula’s house for a few snacks, and MORE PRESENTS!  It is so fun to watch kids open gifts!  They all got some great gifts – including Finn – and then it was off to the hospital in OKC again! We had a glamorous Christmas lunch of Lunchables and Capri Sun in the car as we drove…

We spent the rest of our Christmas day with Finn, and took a Christmas picture to celebrate:

Nana and Grandpa came by for some Christmas Day hugs – Finn style, and we all spent the afternoon just hanging out!  Britt made a special snack of Ranch Oyster Crackers for the staff, and it was a HUGE hit!  Emma and Lara were picked up by their other dad at the hospital for a week with him, so we left that night with just ONE baby!  Monday morning, we got up super early and came back, as we were meeting with the nurse practitioners for a FINAL plan – to bring Finn home on Wednesday!  We spent most of the day Monday with Finn.  His big adventure for Monday was his circumcision!  My mom came down for one last NICU cuddle with Finn, then she took Jake back to Stillwater with here so we could have more time with our baby boy.  Later that evening, we left without our baby for the VERY LAST TIME!  We headed home to a dinner out with family, then getting things ready at home!  Tuesday morning we cleaned the house as best we could, dropped Jake off with my parents, and drove to the hospital for the VERY LAST TIME to get this “rooming in” thing started.

We had to be at the hospital by 4:00pm to meet with the home health company representative to learn about the oxygen and monitor we will be taking home.  We actually got here a little before 2 (after a “last meal” of sorts at Pei Wei), and got to feed Finn that bottle before starting our next class.  And we were definitely schooled!  MAN!  That was a lot of information in a short hour!  It went by so fast!  So glad Britt is a GREAT listener, and the monitor came with a manual!  WHEW!  The room wasn’t quite ready yet when we were done, so we did Finn’s 5:00 hands on in our old room.  This is when we disconnected him from the NICU monitors, and hooked him up to the home ones.  CRAZY stuff!  Then, we wheeled him down the hall to the “Rooming In Room.”  In here, there is a full size bed, storage, a mini-fridge, sink, TV (on an A/V cart with a DVD player AND a VCR!  Kicking it old school!), and the regular NICU medical equipment.  It’s a bit crowded, but it works.  Once we got all set up, it was our turn to show what we’ve learned!

About an hour after we moved down here, Britt left to go to a cupcake shop in Edmond that we frequent.  We have become friends with the owner, and she had told us to come get the leftovers to share with the NICU staff.  The staff was ONCE AGAIN thrilled with their treat from the Weavers! Normally, they have 1-2 dozen cupcakes left over.  Last night for some reason, they had TONS!  Britt brought 72, but that’s all because his box was full! LOL!

At the 8:00 feeding, we were getting things all settled in for the night.  I had planned on blogging after that feeding and before getting some rest, but Mr. Finn Weaver had OTHER plans.  Like, cry for THREE HOURS other plans!  Poor Baby!  We were all pretty miserable!  This is a baby that never cries!  He had his first RSV immunization shot this morning, so I thought that might be bothering him.  Or his circumcision, but we had given him Tylenol with his last feeding, so it should have been working by then!  At the two hour mark, I was convinced it was the new monitors – it had to be poking or pinching or something, so I stripped him down.  That didn’t help!  We stood, we walked, we rocked, we sat, we lay down, we sat up, we traded him back and forth… Finally, about 30 minutes before his next feeding, we gave in and pushed the nurse call button.  She came in, assessed him, and decided it was probably gas.  She thought we should try a swing and see if that helped work it out.  After lugging a HUGE monster of a swing into our already crowded room and trying him in it, we discovered Finn doesn’t like the swing!  This baby was so miserable!  So, we fed him the 11:00 feeding, and the nurse got a vibrating bouncy seat to try.  He liked this MUCH better, and actually slept in it until the next feeding.

The rest of the night went MUCH better!  I got up to feed him his 2:00 feeding, and Britt slept through most of it.  Glad he got some rest so he can drive us home later!  I woke him up with me for the 5:00am feeding since I needed to make the bottle this time – it wasn’t ready ahead of time like the others (we are feeding him fortified breast milk and supplementing with NeoSure).  So, we tag teamed the 5:00 feeding, and now we are just waiting for the day!  I went down the hall to return my breast pump before I sat down to write, and the unit is so quiet.  Shift change is at 7, and that’s when Dr. Scott is due here to check Finn’s eyes one last time before we go, so things are starting to get busy around here!

I cannot believe we are taking him home in just a few short hours!  There are only a few things left to check off on his discharge check-list!  WOW!  This is REALLY happening!  From the snoring coming from the bed in the corner, sounds like Dad is resting up for the drive home!  Can’t wait to see what this day brings!

Most wonderful time of the year!

Things have been moving along at a hectic pace the last few days!  I love this time of year because there is always something going on and something to do, but I hate it for that same reason!  Due to all the loose ends I am trying to tie up before the end of the year, plus Christmas parties, shopping, to do lists and keeping my family moving forward, I have not been able to stay down in the city with Finn like I have been doing.  So added to all the other hustle and bustle are countless trips back and forth to the city to try to bond with and take care of my boy, while still making Christmas special for the rest of my family.  Plus the stress of all the unknowns about bringing a preemie baby home.  WHEW!  I know we will look back on this time in our lives next year and it will just be a memory, but right now, it feels like I am in the last 5 miles of a marathon that I didn’t train for!

As for Mr. Finn, he is just 5 pounds 10 ounces of amazing!  He is really loving being over on the A wing and is doing very well over there.  He is now a bottle champion, and because of that, he got his feeding tube removed early yesterday.  That means he has nothing invasive in his body anymore!  He is still on oxygen support with a nasal cannula from the vapotherm.  As of last night, he was on 2.0 liters at 100%.  His test numbers yesterday were good enough that he could have been weaned to 1.5L, but he was scheduled for a (routine) MRI of his brain, so they wanted to leave the support up in case the testing caused any stress.  For an infant MRI, they sedate them slightly, put in some ear plugs, and will them to lay still! Finn came through his just fine!  He’s a pretty relaxed baby anyway.  We did hear about one of his friends on the ward that failed hers on Tuesday – she “freaked out” and was screaming.  Poor baby girl!  They re-did hers yesterday as well, and she did great!

While we were there yesterday, we learned that there was a “leak” on the 6^th floor Tuesday right above the B Quad of the NICU, which led to some major ceiling damage – right outside Finn’s old room.  So, the NICU was in a tizzy today!  They moved the most well and stable babies from the A quad to pediatrics on the 5^th floor, then, they had to move all the tiny babies from the B quad over to the A quad.  This is not ideal, but they are hoping with the B wing empty, they can get that ceiling fixed quickly and be back in business.  I feel so bad for the staff – it is QUITE a mess.  Luckily, Mr. Finn did not have to move.  I guess if he weren’t on so much oxygen, he might have gone to peds…  Anyway – this is a mess for the nurses, and I feel bad for them.  At one point, the nurse practitioner was at Finn’s bedside, and her phone rang.  She told us to hold on, as it was one of the nurses “out on Survivor Island!”  This has been nothing if not an adventure during my 4.5 months at Mercy – domestic situations, tidal waves… What next!

Britt and I spent yesterday getting schooled on bring our preemie home.  In the morning, he and I, as well as my mom, went to a class to get infant CPR certified.  It was just the 3 of us in the class, and it went really well.  I feel better knowing this information as I bring my baby home. While my mom came on back to go to work, Britt and I hung out with Finn as he got ready for his MRI.  (I just realized I didn’t get a new picture of him without the feeding tube!  It was a crazy day…)  We each got to hold him and cuddle him and feed him, which really makes my day complete.  We also made a quick Target run for stocking stuffers – so Christmas shopping is officially DONE!  While Finn was at his MRI, we went to our last NICU class.  We got a lot of our questions answered about bringing him home, but we still had quite a list left for our nurse practitioner as well. We met with her later in the afternoon and got all of our questions answered, including THE BIG ONE.

We are (currently) set to bring Mr. Finn Weaver home to Stillwater on Wednesday, December 28!

He has a lot left to do to make that appointment, but we are confident!  We has to pass his hearing test, get one more eye test, start his RSV series, get circumcised, pass his car seat test, and most importantly, wean down off the vapotherm to regular oxygen.  I will stay overnight in his room with him Tuesday night, and that afternoon, the home heath people will come out and train us on the monitors and home oxygen he will go home with.  The morning we are discharged, he will get his hospital pictures taken!  SO EXCITING! Today, I have to make his first appointment with the pediatrician here for next Thursday or Friday!  YAY!

So, the hash tag is officially changing. We are planning a fun Christmas for the big kids, including some Finn time.  And we are praying he continues to improve, so we can have him #homefornewyears.

The "A" Quad! (Guest Blog by Finn)

This last 24 hours has been quite a ride for me!  First, my Daddy was here with Mommy all day yesterday, and I was so happy to see him!  I love hearing his deep voice and he knows just how to hold me.  While he and mommy were here, one of my nurse practitioners came in and they talked for a long time all about me!  Mommy said I’m the kind of kid you have to just push into the deep end and tell them to swim!  I’m not sure what exactly that means, but it sounds kind of scary!  Then, Daddy AGREED with her!  He told stories of me being in the NICU about how I get to a point then don’t get past it until they push me pretty hard – like they had to to with the fentanyl and the ventilator.  While I’m not sure what all that means, I do know that after they all talked about that for a while, and they talked about me being past the 37 week mark, the NNP turned the flow down on my machine to 3.0L and 100% oxygen.  Mommy and Daddy were so excited!  Didn’t make me much difference at all!  They stayed with me till mid-afternoon, and I was sad to see them go, since they know just how to feed me my bottles!  I’m getting really good at it!

Not too long after they left, the nurses came in and started gathering up all my things – they told me I was MOVING!  Where? To the A QUAD!!!!  While I am still looking for the other 2 “quads,” I hear they call this new place the “high school” of the NICU.  Even though I am a freshman on the hall, I have a lot of friends who came over this week, too, so I’m not too worried about it.  My new room is smaller, but I am the only baby in here, and there is more storage for all the clothes, gifts, and stuff my Mommy keeps here for us.  It was fun to take a little ride in my crib down the hall and around the corner!  My nurses told me all about my new digs while we walked.  I hear it’s kind of a big deal to be here, so I am excited!  Plus, I got the best room in the place – first one as you walk into the unit, so I get to greet everyone!

I had a good first night in the new room.  I have a window right above my bed! It’s nice to see the daylight streaming in.  My Mom and Dad, as well as my sisters and brother showed up late this morning.  Mommy and Daddy were surprised when they got here that my Vapotherm was at 3.0 liters and 83% - they thought they would leave the oxygen at 100% and just wean the flow.  They asked the nurse about this, but I was doing great with my numbers either way.  Mommy fed me a bottle (with a little help from Jake), and then I heard them talking to another of my nurse practitioners.  She explained that there are a few schools of thought on the Vapotherm settings, and she likes to do it this way.  She told them she would turn it down to 2.5 liters of flow tomorrow.  Again, no idea what that means, but Mom and Dad seem excited as it is one step closer to home.  The NNP also said I had completed 82% of my bottles by mouth in the last 24 hours. Mommy said that’s a “B” and she’ll take it!  

The next time I needed a diaper change and a bottle, Mommy was off pumping more milk for me, so for the first time, Daddy did my whole hands on by himself and fed me my bottle!  I love it when Mommy does it, but is sure is special when Daddy’s here!  Emma, Lara and Jake all took turns holding me, singing to me, and reading books to me all day long.  Mommy fed me one last bottle (after figuring out that the first nipple we tried didn’t have a hole in the end) before they had to go home for the night.  

MAN!  What a great day today was.  One nurse even said I might still make it home for Christmas.  Mommy said she’s fine if I don’t, but I am going to keep working hard!  I’d sure like to be home for when Santa comes!  I hear that’s pretty cool!  But for now, I am happy to be here in the “Big Boy Nursery” working hard on my breathing and eating.  I’ll be home soon enough.

If not for Christmas…

…by New Year’s night…?

After all these whispers and questions and comments about Finn being home for Christmas, including more yesterday, Britt and I finally got up the nerve to ask a doctor – the only ones who can tell us for sure.  And no, Finn won’t be home for Christmas.  While we are a bit disappointed, we can’t help but be thankful for how far he has come!  The doctor told us yesterday that 9 out of 10 babies with his exact circumstances (25 week gestation birth, under 2 pound birth weight, 7 weeks on a ventilator, etc) would not be faring as well as he has.  Everyone is still really shocked at how well he has taken to the bottle.  He just needs more time to grow bigger and get new pink lung tissue to help overcome the chronic lung disease.  It just takes time.  And patience.

So, now we are hoping for the end of the year.  I know that’s only a week out from Christmas, but for insurance purposes, that would really be helpful.  Of course, we want him to be as healthy as possible before he joins our crazy household, so we will do what the doctors advise us to do, but we sure could use some BIG prayers for a New Year’s Eve homecoming!  That will be some kind of party at midnight if it happens!

We were able to go back to bottle feeding yesterday.  I fed him a bottle at 8, 2 and 5.  His 11 o’clock feeding we gavaged since he was SO asleep all the prodding and noise we were making didn’t even cause a stir.  He was kind of fussy after the 8 o’clock feeding and stayed awake for quite a while, so I guess he was just worn out.  I told Britt I gave him a C+ for that first bottle.  He gulped and held his breath a lot for the first half, but then got the hang of it again and did well.  He gets a C- for the 2:00.  He kept de-satting (his oxygen saturation level goes below the desired level and makes the alarm go off), so we stopped a lot, but he still drank the whole thing in the 30 minutes allotted.  Then, the 5:00 he got a solid B.  Did well; his sats only dipped twice – and neither time set off the alarm.  He just needed to get back in the swing of things!  Sounds like he did about the same overnight, as well.  Back on the right track now!

While his breathing and oxygen levels are getting better, it is a slow climb.  His machine last night was set to 3.5 liters per minute of flow, and early this morning it was at 78% oxygen. That’s down from the 4.0L and 100% we had Tuesday night!  He has to get down to 1 L to come home.  He will be at 100% at that point, but that’s the flow they need for him to be comfortable at and still converting the oxygen as needed.  There is no telling how long that can take, but late this morning they turned the flow down to 3.0 and his oxygen up t 100%! We are THRILLED with this development.  He just has to keep getting new lung tissue every day and keep working on his bottle feeding to get better.  The nurse practitioner (that changed the oxygen settings) told us to GET READY!  So, we have signed up for the final NICU parenting class, as well as infant CPR next week, so we can be ready!

Today, Britt is getting some cuddle time in with his son.  Long overdue!  It’s been a crazy week!  Loving the holiday season, and being able to celebrate our own little miracle.  At the same time, glad to see the tumultuous year of 2011 come to a close.  Bring on 2012!  I now know I can survive just about anything that’s thrown at me!