Dear Finn Weaver

Dear Finn Weaver,

Well, son!  You are 2 weeks old!  I am so proud of all the accomplishments you've made.  They told me a couple of days ago that you are not the smallest baby on the unit anymore!  You weigh a whole kilogram (2 pounds 3 ounces) now!  Plus, you are off the photo therapy lights (again) so I can see your sweet face without that silly mask of goggles.  I know the oscillator is doing a lot of the breathing work for you, but it is your job to relax and let it do it's job.  Thank you for being such a fighter.  We know you were born too soon (14 weeks too soon to be exact), and without all the medical knowledge and equipment you have around you, and without your fighting spirit, and without the love of our all-powerful God, we know we would not have you in our lives.  What a blessing you are!

Finn, do you have any idea how many people are praying for you?  People you and I will never meet.  People you and I have no way of knowing.  Son, you are covered in the biggest blanket of prayer!  So many people reaching out to Jesus on your behalf for healing, growth, comfort, and love.  And they are petitioning for me and your Dad, too. For strength, patience, knowledge and healing.  I know we feel it, and I hope you do, too.  There are people all over the place thinking of you and pulling for you and reading about you on Facebook, Twitter, and our blog.  I am so thankful for the Internet and social media for letting me share you and our story with so many, so easily.  You are a tiny, helpless baby, but you already help your dad and I shine the light of Jesus to so many everyday!

I have spent the better part of everyday of the last two weeks by your bedside.  During the week, I have been staying with some friends here in Oklahoma City.  I get up early every morning to get a ride to the hospital, and I stay as late as I can every night before they take me back to their house.  On the weekends, your Daddy brings your sisters and brother up to visit you.  Nana and Grandpa have been here a few times, too.  Plus, you've had lots of other visitors as well!  Everyone thinks you are so cute.  They ask me who you look like, but I am not really sure yet!  The past few days your hair has looked a bit red - like your sisters', and you have your brother/dad/grandfather's Weaver ears.  We'll have to see as you get bigger which side of the family you resemble more.

You've given us a couple of pretty rough nights and a few scares, Mr. Finn.  And unfortunately, I hear that's not over yet!  When you scare us, we just pray harder!  Maybe that's the lesson you are trying to teach us.  Last Saturday night when they switched you from the traditional ventilator to the oscillator was rough.  Just because we were in Stillwater that night and there was nothing your Dad and I could do to help, plus this was not a sure fix.  But, it worked!  Then, this past Tuesday night when they couldn't get your blood gas numbers to do what they were supposed to and they were tweaking every setting and nothing much was working, that put me on my knees, too.  But, a new tube, some new settings, a blood transfusion the next day, and you were doing MUCH better.  "They" say the NICU ride is quite a roller coaster, and it is SO very true.  Not a day goes by that I don't cry for some reason - either happy tears because you are ALIVE and MINE and so adorably cute, or because I am scared, terrified, angry, or worried as you work so hard to stay cute.  You are my miracle!  My mom always says you never stop learning, and the last 2 weeks have been a crash course!

Tonight, your Daddy will be here for the whole weekend!  It is Fall Break for the schools, so Emma and Lara are spending time with their "other dad," Jake is staying with friends, and your Daddy is coming to OKC to spend the whole weekend with me and you!  We have a hotel room, and we are excited to hang out with you, and each other!  I've been on bed rest and then here with you for over 2 months, so you Dad and I have kind of missed out on just being a couple.  This is a welcome break, and we can't wait to share it with you!  Besides spending as much time as we can with you, we hope to go to the movies, eat good food, reconnect, and just celebrate the life God has given us!  I might even put on some make up for the occasion!  (I haven't done that in months, either!)  OH - and while we are gone, our dear friends are invading our house to decorate your nursery!  It's all a big surprise, and I can't wait to see it on Sunday!  But more importantly than that, I can't wait to bring you home so you can enjoy it.  can you work really hard for me and be home by Christmas?   I would really love for Santa not to have to find you in the NICU... It's only 12 days before your due date!  I know you can do it!

So, I will close my first letter to you with this.  I love you.  Forever.  No matter what.  Daddy says when you are 15 and driving me nuts I am not allowed to "hold it over your head" that when you were born I sat by your bedside for months on end willing you to grow and get stronger.  I said, "I'm his mother.  Yes, I can!"  LOL!  And I probably will.  Just so you know how much I love you.  And Daddy loves you!  I tell you everyday the first moment I see you, and again before I leave at night.  Emma, Lara and Jake -- they love you, too.  They ask about you when I call, and the look forward to coming to visit you.  I can't wait for you to be big enough for them to hold you and cuddle you.  And all the people I mentioned before!  Your grandparents (you've got 4 of the best, you know!), Aunts, Uncles, cousins, and the hundreds of others -- some I know and some I don't -- they all love you and want the best for you.  So, right now, you have a big job on your shoulders.  It is to sleep, relax, eat, and grow!  If you get stronger each day, you will be home before we know it!  I love you, Finn Weaver!

Love,
Mom

Power of Prayer

It wouldn’t be a pregnancy for me if it didn’t include a trip to the ER.  With the girls I had unexplained bleeding at about 10 weeks, then food poisoning at 7 months.  With Jake, I never went to the ER, but we had a scare at our 10 week ultrasound which led to additional scans in the first trimester (which all issues resolved themselves).  And now, this pregnancy. We had some things happen in the middle of the night Monday night which led to a 4 hours trip to the ER, as well as some tense hours – and they’re not over yet.

In the wee hours of Tuesday morning, I had two episodes of waking up feeling wet (and cold due to the air from our ceiling fan blowing on me) – almost as if I had peed myself.  The first was about 1:30, and the second, which was much worse than the first, was about 3:15am.  I was not really sure what was happening, but whatever was coming out was not urine, so I had to assume amniotic fluid.  There was also some blood the second time, so I woke Britt up that time (He had a rough night Sunday night, so I was trying to let him sleep).  While I cleaned myself and my messes up, he got on the internet.  After about 15 minutes, he said, “I think we should go to the ER.”  I tried to wave him off and told him to wait and see if it happened again, but (because he is smarter than me) he insisted.  We decided to wake the girls and tell them our plan, but to just leave the kids sleeping for the time being and call my mom when the hour was a bit more decent.

We were at the ER by about 3:45, and in our little room by 4:15.  I was so glad that the ER doc on duty was someone we knew, and was a man if faith.  (He was also the ER doc on duty a few years back when Britt dislocated his shoulder!)  The first thing they did was send a nurse in with a doppler, and she pretty quickly found a nice steady heart rate of 153 for my baby.  Then, they ran several tests, including a pap smear.  The fluid that was leaking came back positive as amniotic fluid, but there was no infection, and I was still bleeding a little bit.  Things move slowly in the ER, and it was about 6am when we got the last of the test results we were waiting on.  It was then we were told the ultrasound had been ordered for 7am.  In the meantime, I had called my mom at 5am, and by 5:30 she was at my house with the kids.  That right there eased my mind a bit!

So, 7am took forever to roll around, but I was never more excited to see one of those machines.  And the technician was so great!  Shocker was awake and moving and flipping and dancing.  Heart rate was up to 160 (that’s what happens when you exercise!), things looks great.  The ER Doc poked his head in to ask about my fluid, and she said it looked great.  After she was done, the ER doc came in to discharge me.  Told me I was on pelvic rest (indefinitely), and to take it easy, and to call my OB’s office when it opened for a follow up.  I was at the Bagel Shop by 8am for some good breakfast, then home to rest.

I called my doctor at 8:30, and was in the office by 9.  We had a hallway consultation, and he told me to come back at 11 for another ultrasound.  We went back home (which is like ½ a mile from the clinic and hospital, thank goodness!) and napped until it was time to go to the scan.  Again, everything looked GREAT on the screen.  Shocker was back to just chillin’.  Heart rate was 154, and she measured everything.  She agreed that my fluid level looked good, too.  So, afyer she consulted with my Doctor,  we got to chat with him for a few minutes.  He ordered bed rest, and to come back on Thursday for another ultrasound and visit with him.  And prayer.   

While there are 2 issues here, placenta previa (the placenta is covered the cervix – causing bleeding) and leaking amniotic fluid, the fluid is the more pressing.  The baby cannot survive without amniotic fluid.  And there is no way to stop a leak or repair a tear.  At 15 weeks, this baby is not viable outside of my womb.  This leak has to be resolved.  The placenta previa, while worrisome, usually corrects itself.  As the baby and womb grow, the placenta will move.  I already know this will be a C-section delivery (my 3^rd), so even if it continues to cover my cervix, it won’t change a whole lot, but it does need to move and resolve itself.  And I need to not be stressed and worried.  Please pray.

<-- This is who you are praying for.  This is our Baby.  She or He is 15 weeks and 4 days old in this sonogram picture I got yesterday.  S/he needs to stay put, and to stay growing.  We covet your prayers.  My doctor boldly said in his office yesterday as we were leaving that he was declaring this event as no big deal, and that we should own that, and pray it into being so.  That’s where you come in, my prayer warriors.  I invite you to pray with me, Britt, My kids, my family and friends.  Pray our Sun Stand Still prayer with us.  Pray for the amniotic fluid to stop leaking and the fluid level around the baby to remain at a good level.  Pray for the placenta to move away from my cervix as the baby grows as to not cause any more complications.  And pray for the general health and well-being of the baby, and this nervous mom.  To quote my good friend Jesus: "Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns." (Matthew 16:23 NIV)