For a Little While...

I fell like I should have something to say, but I don’t, really. The last time I wrote anything was last Thursday. Today is Monday. The day after Easter. I had a good day yesterday, but I almost feel guilty about it. The Five Dream Weavers went to LifeChurch.tv Edmond to celebrate new life with a dear friend as he got Baptized, then went to his house to celebrate his wife’s birthday and Easter. It was a nice change of pace – even if we did experience white-knuckle driving in torrential downpours and see 2 wrecks.

Easter is a time of celebration. Of recognizing the sacrifice God made for us ALL by giving up his only son. Makes me think about being a parent and especially about being a parent of a son. But what does that look like for a mother who just lost her own son way too soon? On Facebook she said “I am happy Brian is spending his first Easter in the presence of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I cry because I miss him and I want him here with us.”

When I was pregnant with my twins, I had lots of sonograms. I remember the first time the technicians and doctors tried to determine the sex of the babies. They told me Twin A (called Jenna in utero, now Emma) was definitely a girl. I was a tiny bit disappointed. I had thought I was having 2 boys. Then, they told me Twin B (Barbara in utero, now Lara) was not cooperating and her gender was still in question. A few weeks later, same outcomes. At 33 weeks, they told me Twin B was “most likely” a girl. I will confess that I held out hope until the moment she was born that Lara would be a boy. But, I got 2 precious orange headed girls, and they still light up every day of my life with their love and tenacity! Fast forward a few years and I was pregnant again. I had a precautionary sonogram at 14 weeks because the one a t10 weeks revealed something my doctor wanted to look at again (turned out to be nothing). But, during that sonogram, the technician asked if we wanted to know the gender of the baby. We were a bit shocked, as we thought it was too early, and we hadn’t really discussed it. But, we said yes. And, found out we were going to have a SON! Talk about humbling… And to reflect on what he means to me now, after the death of my mother’s son and the Easter holiday focusing on how God turned Jesus over to his haters… WOW.

My pastor, Craig Groeschel, wrote and amazing poem and showed it as a video during the sermons this weekend. I had caught parts of it on Saturday night as I volunteered as an usher for the 2 services in Stillwater, but I finally got to see it in context on Sunday morning. Here is the video:

It has inspired me again to be weird and to see things from a different angle. Reminded me that it doesn’t matter that none of my girls’ clothes came from “Justice” as much as they would like for them to have, and that my family is blessed to have 2 cars that run (even if they aren’t pretty), a roof over our head, and a pantry (mostly) full of food. We will survive this season and we will SHINE our light for others to see. I will survive feeling burdened and overwhelmed. I will learn from the obstacles set before me and the pain that seems to consume me. I will cherish that fact that my SON climbs into bed with me almost every night and needs extra love and attention at every bedtime right now. After all, he’s only my son for a little while…

Lent (Sacrifice)

My favorite definition of sacrifice is “giving up something you love, for something you love MORE.” I think the first time I heard this was a couple of years ago in a sermon by Craig Groeschel, and since then I have heard the same sentiment said a few different ways. So, as we start this season of Lent, I am choosing to make a sacrifice. I am giving up Diet Coke (caffeine/dark cola), in order to feel better.

You see, I love (LOVE) Diet Coke, but I love NOT feeling like I have for the last 2 weeks even MORE. I’ve done it before. Given up the DC. For LONG periods of time, even. I gave it up for 5 years while trying to conceive, then conceiving and breastfeeding twins. Then again when I was pregnant and breastfeeding my son. And then for 21+ days at the First of this year when I participated in the Daniel fast. And I know I have done it for Lent in the past as well. So, I know it can be done, and I know I can do it. And to help me along my way, I have also started a new bible reading plan designed just for Lent at youversion.com. To keep me on track and to remind me WHY I am sacrificing this tiny thing when Jesus gave it ALL!

So, the blog has been neglected the last 2 weeks basically because I have failed at my commitments. My commitment to working out, my commitment to losing weight, and my commitment to this blog. Once again, LIFE got in the way. My parents (who are part of the VILLAGE that helps raise my 3 children) were out of town for a few days, so our schedule was wacky, then I started not feeling well, only to find out that I had strep throat! 2+ days of being totally miserable, then 2+ more days of just feeling bad, and things were REALLY behind. Add to that, I think I had a mild reaction to the antibiotics I am on (Can I give THAT up for Lent? Antibiotics?) which left me feeling foggy and groggy and with a headache, which turned into a migraine on Sunday, and yesterday, I finally started to feel almost normal again. I have ONE MORE pill to take this afternoon and I will have completed my 10 day course of antibiotics! I am WELL again! So, this season of sacrifice is a good day to start over, I believe!

On the upside, during ALL of that, I MAINTAINED my weight again! For that, I am grateful! It’s nice to start out in the same place I left off, instead of having to take 2 steps (or more) backwards! So, here’s to SACRIFICE! What are you going to sacrifice this season?