10 days on this planet

It was 10 days ago that my little Mr. Finn joined us!  I am sitting in the back seat of my parent’s car as we whiz down I-35 on the all too familiar drive between Mercy and Stillwater.  We have just spent the evening with sweet Finn – he is now topping the scales at 2 pounds and 1.5 ounces!  He is also tolerating the new oscillating ventilator he was put on last night – but more on that later.  When we got there tonight, he was on his tummy with his tiny little tush up in the air – my favorite!  We missed the opportunity to change his diaper and take his temperature by a few minutes, but it was still worth the trip to just to stare at him and marvel at his development and accomplishments.  We love watching him try to grab for the tubes and wires he has around him, as well as stretch those tiny feet and legs.  Plus, he tried super hard to raise his chin!  He is so strong and such a fighter!  Since it has been ten days, (technically, he was born on the 5^th and today is the 16^th, but it WAS almost midnight, after all!), I decided the best way to chronicle the roller coaster events was to just list the highlights, so here we go!

Thursday, October 6

• My sister-in-love had surgery scheduled for early that morning across the street, so she and her husband were the first visitors Finn had!

• At 9:00 am, they were making me move rooms (with all my STUFF I had accumulated thinking I would be there much longer) right in the middle of my morning meds, my family arriving, and the lactation consultant visit!   WHEW!

• My Mom and Dad came down to meet their newest grandson, and they brought Emma, Lara and Jake to meet their tiny baby brother.

• The first two interventions for Finn (besides IV fluids for nutrition) were the ventilator (which at this point was at very low settings for a baby of his size!), and 3 banks of the blue photo therapy lights used to fight the bilirubin levels in the blood that cause jaundice.

• Britt stayed overnight in the WORST hospital recliner EVER!

Friday, October 7

• This day, we were blessed with a lot of visitors!  Some with early birthday presents for me, some to meet Finn, and some surprised to learn of his birth!

• As we knew he would, Finicky Finn lost some weight, but was doing all the things a micro-preemie of his gestational age should be doing.  Nothing scary; nothing too worrisome.

• I did have a little breakdown mid-morning when I felt like I had no idea what was going on with my son.  Britt called the NICU and got our nurse to explain a lot of things to us.  It was just a case of they didn’t know what we didn’t know, but this conversation was so revealing and reassuring!

• My Mom and Dad came again this evening to love on their sweet grandson, and to celebrate my birthday with me.

• Several of my girlfriends from my LifeGroup brought birthday dinner, birthday presents, baby presents, and LOTS of love for both me and Finn.  It was so fun to introduce my sweet babies to  all our visitors today, but especially to these women who have shown so much support over the past few months.

Saturday, October 8

• Happy 37^th Birthday TO ME!!!!!

• I was told by the rounding physician that I could go home today, but I really wanted to stay another day, so I asked, and received!

• My amazing husband and kids came down to spend the day with me, and they decorated my door and room with party decorations a friend had sent earlier in the week – pre-baby!  It was super festive and fun!

• Britt’s parents came over from Enid to meet their grandson.

• We had LOTS of birthday visitors, again!

•  I got my PICC line out – what a relief!

• Finn’s night nurse for this evening turned out to be a childhood friend of mine!  Such a joy to know he is in such good hands and with someone who cares about our family personally!

Sunday, October 9

• This morning was ROUGH.  Knowing we were being discharged, but leaving our most precious family member there was not a comforting feeling.  Add to that some confusion about hospital grade breast pump rental, and I was an emotional mess

• Britt and I both broke down as we left the parking lot!  So hard to leave my tiny baby behind, but there were other kids at home who had not had their mom for months.  It was a hard decision, but I know I made the right one.

• Once we left the hospital, we stopped by Target for a few things I needed, then on to Babies R Us, as we had to buy a breast pump!  The rental fiasco had left me leaving the hospital to go home without a way to harvest milk for my baby boy.  Nothing a few hundred dollars won’t fix, I guess…

• When we arrived (finally) in Stillwater, I asked to be dropped off at my parents’ house so they could “baby” me while Britt ran a couple of errands and gathered our kids up from where they stayed for the day.

• SUCH a joy to have my 3 big Dream Weaver kids with me in a comfortable environment!  I really cherished this evening with them – even if I was trying to recover from major surgery!  So happy!

Monday, October 10

• Today, I “moved in” with my friends who live close to the hospital in the city.  They are so gracious to let me stay and to let me go, too.  And, since I can’t drive, they take me everywhere, too!  I am one lucky Mom!

• Trying to get into my “new” routine.  Hard to sleep, still on lots of pain meds, pumping 7-8 times (including in the pumping rooms at the hospital outside the NICU) a day, trying to spend as much time with little Finn as possible.

• Finn has lost a little more weight, but has evened out.  He is also still under 3 banks of photo-therapy lights for the jaundice.

Tuesday, October 11

• I had a rough morning – not looking forward to spending the WHOLE day at the hospital again, not knowing what to expect with Finn, missing my husband, my kids, my home…

• BUT!  ***I GOT TO HOLD MY SON!!!***  This was my first session of “Kangaroo Care” with my baby, and I held him for about an hour.  Made this morning’s meltdown all worth it.

• My milk had also finally come in, so I was finally pumping enough to feel like I was contributing to Finn’s nutrition – even though he wasn’t even using it yet.

• And, after I held him, they removed the blue lights!  SUCH a great day! (Let the roller coaster begin!)

Wednesday, October 12

• One week old TODAY!

• In celebration, I had cheesecake with my lunch in the hospital cafeteria (my daily stop for nourishment!)

• I also got to Kangaroo Finn today for about 3 hours.  Pure BLISS!

• Finn received his first blood transfusion today.  He is so small he can’t produce new blood as fast as he is using it; plus add to that all the nurses draw for tests and such.

• Speaking of blood tests, they saw some markers in his previous tests that indicate he might be starting to fight an infection, so they started him on broad spectrum antibiotics.

• As a result, they are starting a blood culture to see what kind of infection he is fighting.

•  And, one back of the blue lights is back.  :(  WHEW!  Busy Finn day!

• Happy News is that I caught a ride back to Stillwater for the night and got to have dinner at the Hideaway with my LifeGroup!  SUCH great fellowship!

Thursday, October 13

• My mom wanted to see Finn, so after we dropped the Big Dream Weaver kids at school, we headed back down to see the baby.

• More Kangaroo care this afternoon!  I held him about 2 hours today before he got too wiggly and needed to go back.  Put a new fun white cap on for this session!

• Finn had gained back up past his birth weight , weighing in at 1 pound 15 ounces

• Finn started breast milk feedings today!  0.5 cc’s every 4 hours.  The nurses call it “half a drop!”  If he tolerates it well he will get more  - today was just to see if his guts were working, not so much for nutrition

Friday, October 14

• Dad was not feeling well this morning, but came down and hang out with his wife and son after a nap!  We went out for lunch together and it was so nice.

• Since Finn was tolerating milk well, his feedings were increased to 1 cc (a FULL drop!) every 4 hours.

• Dad got to experience his first Kangaroo Care session!

• Unfortunately, it was cut short as Finn was not tolerating it well.  The nurses and doctors had already determined that Finn’s body was not changing the oxygen he was taking in into carbon dioxide like it should, and the numbers were higher than they wanted them.  So, they started making adjustments to his ventilator to see if they could help him with that..

• We left the city to get back to our other kids thinking they would find the right combination of pressure, oxygen and repetitions to get him going again soon.

• Ran by Babies R Us to finish up our registry there before we got home to the other kids!

• Got to our home to find his birth certificate in the mail box!

Saturday, October 15

• Woke up to a Saturday morning with my kids!  Finished our registries by going to Wiggles and Giggles downtown, had Eskimo Joe’s for lunch, and then loaded up the whole gang and headed to the city to see Finn!

• We were met by some fun visitors, but this whole time, we knew things weren’t quite right with Finn, his breathing, and his blood gas. 

• After some fun brother pictures and an opportunity for the girls to love on Finn, we went to Target to finish up our registry there.

• One last trip in to see Finn, and we were greeted by the doctor to talk about Finn’s issues.

• The changes made to the ventilator were not changing the blood gas numbers, so they also started Lasix to see if that would help.

• We left asking for more prayers for Finn, knowing they had found his chest tube to be too small and had switched it out.

• The numbers were still not correcting, so they decided to switch him from a traditional ventilator, to an oscillator.

• By 11pm, his numbers were on the rise!

Sunday, October 16

• Called early to check on Finn, and his numbers were up again! PRAISE!  The oscillator was working!

• Enjoyed a lazy morning with the kids and went to church and lunch like a normal family!

• My parents wanted to go see Baby Finn this afternoon, so I rode with them, too.  We enjoyed our time with him, even though the oscillating ventilator was noisy and a bit scary, and it make Finn look like he was shaking.  But, we know it is what he needs, and his numbers still continue to look good!

• Feeding amount is up to 1.5 cc’s every 4 hours!  He is tolerating it well and digesting it!

• His weight is up to 2 pounds and 1.5 ounces!  YAY, Finn!

I am hitching a ride back to the city EARLY tomorrow morning!  I could probably drive by now, but I don’t feel ready, and this weekend Britt and I are getting a little “vacation” courtesy of our LifeGroup.  It is Fall Break for our schools, our kids are all taken care of, and he and I are spending the weekend in a hotel, hanging out with Finn, and getting re-acquainted with each other!  (NOT like that – I just had surgery, but it was in a Catholic hospital and they didn’t do my tubal ligation!)  We still covert your prayers.  We know this NICU ride is a roller coaster, and we have really just begun!  Thanks for letting me share this journey with you!

“Everything Looks Good”

MAN!  Today started off EARLY!  Last night, we took Jake to my parent’s house to spend the night (which was thrilling for everyone involved) since we knew we would have to be up and out the door early bird this morning.  (The girls are away at their other dad’s for the next week.)  I didn’t sleep very well – I never do when I know I have to get up before my normal alarm goes off.  I wake up a million times to look at the clock and see if I over slept!  We both set alarms (on our phones) for the same time, but you never know whose will go off first!  Today, it was Britt’s! We were up and on the road by a few minutes after six.  We had to stop for gas and drinks for the road before we would head out to the highway.  Armed with printed directions, the GPS, and a basic knowledge of where we were going, we were off.  It was nice since the traffic was so light and we were watching the sun rise as we drove.

Finding the hospital was pretty easy.  Figuring out which building exactly was a bit more challenging.  (The paperwork packet they sent to me with this all mapped out arrived TODAY – after my appointment!)    But, we had plenty of time.  So we scoped it out, found where we needed to be, and it was still early, so we drove back out to find some breakfast – Momma was HUNGRY!  We weren’t sure what time the office actually opened, so we headed up about 7:20.  They open at 7:30, and we were the first ones there!  After several pages of paperwork, we were called back to the sonogram room.

I absolutely loved the sonogram technician we had this morning!  I answered several questions about my history and condition and what brought me to them today, and then the scan started.  She spent AT LEAST 30 minutes measuring and looking at SHOCKER to see what she could see, take measurements, etc.  The baby was SUPER active, and she spent a good deal of time chasing to see if she could do a gender determination – no such luck!  After she finished, we were left to wait (for a LONG time) for the doctor to come in.  We were originally scheduled to see Dr. Stanley, but I assume due to the appointment switch, we actually saw Dr. Mirabile.  He came in talking 1,000 miles a minute about pre-natal testing and amniocentesis and 25 other things I was not really able to catch, but finally he asked if we were interested in doing any invasive testing, and Britt and I both said NO.  So, that ended that conversation.  He then took his place in the sonographer’s chair and did some poking around of his own.  While he is not 100% sure WHAT “the spot” is he did take a good look at that area and some measurements as well.  He thinks it is a small chamber within the uterus that has been created by a “band” or “adhesion” of scar tissue from my previous C-sections.  It looks to be filled with amniotic fluid, but he does not think it is bothersome, just something to watch.  He also wanted to confirm what was going on with the fluid leak, so he did a pelvic exam, and found no evidence of any amniotic fluid, so we have closed that chapter.  He wants me to continue to take it easy, and continue pelvic rest, but I can go back to work, and he wants to see me back in 4 weeks.  As we were wrapping things up and saying our goodbyes, he said “Everything looks good.”  BEST. NEWS. EVER!

This was my tweet as we left the doctor’s office (and headed to Target – CANNOT be that close and not stop in):

So relieved.  Still going to have extra scans, extra appointments, and extra care, but I think that’s not so bad, anyway.  I want to thank you ALL for the prayers.  It is so cool to see how many people are praying for our baby and our family.  Your response has been OVERWHELMING and such a blessing.  We love you all, and we thank God for each person that is lifting us up.  Our God is GREATER, and He proved that to us today.  Here’s why...

Profile:

Feet:

Isaiah 40:31 NIV  but those who hope in the lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Better, but still not great!

YAY! Made it to Friday! It has been a CrAzY week, where I have felt marginally better, but have not been great. The highlights are 4th of July (day off work, and blowing things up), registering for baby items (and the barrage of Transformers movies and shows my son is now obsessed with), getting all of my chicks back in my nest (the girls were gone for 2 whole weeks!), going to court (where we got to kibitz about lawyer fashion) and for Britt, finding out that the Peach Shake is back at Chick-fil-a! I have been looking forward to this day (Friday) as it is OFFICIALLY the start of my second trimester. I just got an email that said THIS:

Welcome to the second trimester! This week's big developments: Your baby can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his thumb. Thanks to brain impulses, his facial muscles are getting a workout as his tiny features form one expression after another. His kidneys are producing urine, which he releases into the amniotic fluid around him -- a process he'll keep up until birth. He can grasp, too, and if you're having an ultrasound now, you may even catch him sucking his thumb. In other news: Your baby's stretching out. From head to bottom, he measures 3 1/2 inches -- about the size of a lemon -- and he weighs 1 1/2 ounces.

Monday was the 4th of July, and no one had to work, so we loaded up the van, and took to the City. My folks went with us – Babies R Us is quite a draw when you haven’t bought baby items in almost 5 years! We started off there, and made a short registry of the basics – Britt was hoping that would help me get more excited about the pregnancy. It helped! I came home with a tiny diaper – it’s SO CUTE! – and some ideas, so that’s fun. After BRU, we went to lunch at Jason’s Deli – a family favorite with lots of healthy choices. And of course, free ice cream at the end for the kids! And Dads! Britt and my Dad were both loading up on the ice cream! ;) After that, we headed to Bricktown for a quick stop at Pinkitzel – we can’t be that close and not stop in! Got some treats to bring home for later! Then, it was off to our FAVORITE shopping destination – TARGET! We started a baby registry there, too. Added a few of the same things that were on our BRU list, but got some others as well. This is where Jake decided he wanted the transformers movie, but he is a bit disappointed with it, and likes watching Transformers: PRIME on the Hub channel much better. My DVR will never be the same… *sigh*

Got the girls back on Tuesday night, and Jake was in HOG HEAVEN! I thought I had never heard him talk so much as when they were gone, but he ramped it up into OVERDRIVE when he had them back – he had to tell them EVERYTHING from the past 14 days since he had seen them! It is so nice to have them back in the house – even if it is louder and messier! Wednesday night we hung out with our “LTC” LifeGroup friends at the Perkins splash pad, which was fun and refreshing even if it was like 102 outside and the splash pad water turned off an hour before it was supposed to! We all needed to get home to bed, anyway, right?
But, the most EXCITING part of Wednesday was THIS:

 

That’s right! It was late afternoon, and I was at my desk at work, and I stretched my arms up over my head and leaned back in my chair, and I felt my whole uterus do a flip flop! WOW! I know it was the baby, and it made my WEEK! I was so excited to tell Britt, and the kids thought it was pretty cool, too! (My mom was torqued because she found out on facebook – I forgot to text or call her… OOPS!) I guess it also led to my first craving, as this was my tweet soon after we got the kids all to bed:

We also had the distinct pleasure of sitting in a court room for 3 hours yesterday afternoon. We finally got the settlement entered from when Lara got hit by a car in the crosswalk in front of her school in February of 2009. I am so glad that is OVER! We still have a few small steps to take care of, but they all fall on me (the victim, of course – why do other people’s negligence always cause the victim work and stress?), and I have some time to carry them out, but it will be COMPLETELY over soon!

So, this weekend I hope to get some rest in between sorority meetings, church, and kids’ commitments. Will probably have to visit Chick-fil-a for that a fore mentioned shake for Britt, and I need to clean my house a bit, too, since this energy drain in my belly is not really allowing that to happen these days! Here’s to the dog days of summer - and the SECOND TRIMESTER!

Neun, Nueve, Neuf, Nove, Nio, Dokuz, NINE!

Nine years ago today (May 13), I was wandering waddling through my cluttered house in Lewisville, TX thinking about my last few days as a childless woman.  I knew I had 3 more days until my twin babies would be born at Baylor Hospital – Grapevine, TX, and I knew I had a Dr’s appointment and paperwork at the hospital the next morning.  I knew I had family coming to stay with us for a few days, and I needed to straighten up the house, finish packing my hospital bag(s), and make a Target run (which was between my house and the hospital, so there was a stop planned there after the aforementioned appointment).  I had plenty of time.  Or so I thought!  Little did I know that in just a few short hours, I would be holding 2 precious, orange-headed baby girls who would rock my world and change everything about my life as I knew it up to that point.

Their arrival was a little hectic, and life has been hectic ever since! And I love it that way!  When they were tiny babies I liked to pick out their physical differences like Emma had no hair, Lara had TONS; Emma’s 2^nd toe is longer than her big toe, Lara’s is shorter; Lara has detached earlobes, Emma’s are attached, etc etc etc.  But now that they are growing into young ladies, the differences are SO much greater!  The way the approach life, their interests, the books they read, the friends they make, the areas they succeed in, the areas they have to work hardest in – are all different.  And it’s still fun to look at them and identify those differences.  To embrace them.  I love them both so much – and so differently!  Even the way I discipline them has to be different.  They are truly 2 unique individuals, who just happened to come into the world on the same day.

We are gearing up for another busy weekend!  Last night we bought all the birthday party supplies!  The girls each got to invite 3 friends to go to Swick’s Pizza  for a birthday party where they will make their own pizzas and play a round of glow-in-the-dark mini golf.  The party theme is “Way to Glow” and Britt is making each child a personalized glow-in-the-dark T-shirt to wear, and I got a ton of those glow necklaces and a few glow-in-the-dark bracelets for each kid to wear over in the dark room.  Should be fun!  Tonight, Twin A is staying home with me to make cake balls for her party (after Jake’s T-ball game!) and Twin B is going to Yukon with her “Other Dad” to make homemade pizza.  Emma opted to stay home so she wouldn’t have to get up too super early for her 10:00 baseball game.  See – it’s a busy weekend!  After the baseball game, they are having lunch with their Other Dad, then that afternoon/ evening they will open presents with us (the Five Dream Weavers) and my parents.  Then, the party is on Sunday!

They are growing up.  And I can’t slow it down!  I recently read a book called “Moms' Ultimate Guide to the Tween Girl World” by Nancy Rue and while I think we have not gotten to some of the issues presented, it feels good to be a little more prepared.  I would recommend this book to all my friends who are moms of tween girls!

I am looking forward to this weekend and celebrating the birth of my first babies 9 years ago.  They are beautiful, energetic, smart, fun, and wonderful young woman.  This journey of motherhood they are leading me on is inspirational, educational, rewarding, and the hardest thing I have ever done.  And I wouldn’t change it for the world!  Yesterday’s Tweet: