Showing posts with label LifeGroup. Show all posts
Showing posts with label LifeGroup. Show all posts

Thursday, October 27

Home... For now

Finn is now 3 weeks old.  He weighs 2 pounds 6 ounces.  He is still under the photo therapy lights, is lightly sedated, and is in the middle of his course of steroids to help his lungs.  The settings on the oscillator go down (or get better) every day, and it sounds like once he is off the steroids and remains stable, they will move him back to the traditional ventilator.  Hopefully early next week, but we have no way of knowing for sure at this point.  He is still on 2 kinds of IV fluid for preemies, lipids for extra fat to help him grow, as well as the steroids, and the pain killer/opiate for sedation.  He is doing really well, we just have to keep the progress going!  He is working hard, and it is showing!

I am actually home for a couple of days.  In my house.  With my husband and the Little Dream Weavers. I will sleep in my own bed for several nights.  What a concept!  Tonight we are attending parent/teacher conferences for the girls, and then tomorrow night is Walkaround for OSU Homecoming.  I am very excited to be able to participate in this tradition.  Then Saturday is the parade, and the football game.  It sounds like right now we will forgo the game so we can go back to the hospital to see Finn, as I am sure my withdrawal with be at an epic proportion at that point.  This is the most time I have been away from him.  I know he is in EXCELLENT hands and won’t even miss me, but it’s sad to think I can’t be there for him.  The flip side is I am HOME with my other babies, and they need me too.

Last weekend was SO MUCH FUN!  I want to thank my LTC LifeGroup and my family for helping to make that happen!  We had such a good time just hanging out with each other, staying in a hotel, going to the hospital whenever we felt like it, eating good food, and even seeing the movie “Courageous.”  We were blessed by the gift of getting all dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant one night, too.  What a treat!  We also watched OSU Cowboy football with great friends, and went to church at LifeChurch Edmond with friends on Sunday morning.  We were both a little sad come Sunday morning when we realized that our little fantasy weekend was coming to an end.
But, it was so worth it to get all of the five dream Weavers under one roof again!  PLUS – there was a little “While You Were Out” makeover that happened for Finn while we were on our “vacation.”  Our dear LifeGroup decorated Finn’s nursery for his homecoming!  He doesn’t get his own room, just the whole north wall of our bedroom with a changing table (that was Emma and Lara’s, then Jake’s), a crib (Jake’s), and a wicker étagère with glass shelves that used to house my television.  They decked it all out with baskets for storage, bedding, a rug, and TONS of supplies – all with a precious owl theme!  It even spilled over to our bed a little bit, too!  Here are some pictures:

Also over the weekend, Britt took two adorable video clips of our littlest Dream Weaver.  I spliced them together and put them on YouTube.  I just called to check on Finn this morning, and his nurse (who has never cared for him before today) just went on and ON about how cute he is!  I know I am a bit partial, but I think he is SUPER cute as well!





I am looking forward to this weekend at home, but I already miss my sweet, finicky boy.  Send up extra prayers for him in my absence!

Sunday, October 16

10 days on this planet

It was 10 days ago that my little Mr. Finn joined us!  I am sitting in the back seat of my parent’s car as we whiz down I-35 on the all too familiar drive between Mercy and Stillwater.  We have just spent the evening with sweet Finn – he is now topping the scales at 2 pounds and 1.5 ounces!  He is also tolerating the new oscillating ventilator he was put on last night – but more on that later.  When we got there tonight, he was on his tummy with his tiny little tush up in the air – my favorite!  We missed the opportunity to change his diaper and take his temperature by a few minutes, but it was still worth the trip to just to stare at him and marvel at his development and accomplishments.  We love watching him try to grab for the tubes and wires he has around him, as well as stretch those tiny feet and legs.  Plus, he tried super hard to raise his chin!  He is so strong and such a fighter!  Since it has been ten days, (technically, he was born on the 5th and today is the 16th, but it WAS almost midnight, after all!), I decided the best way to chronicle the roller coaster events was to just list the highlights, so here we go!

Thursday, October 6
  • My sister-in-love had surgery scheduled for early that morning across the street, so she and her husband were the first visitors Finn had!
  • At 9:00 am, they were making me move rooms (with all my STUFF I had accumulated thinking I would be there much longer) right in the middle of my morning meds, my family arriving, and the lactation consultant visit!   WHEW!
  • My Mom and Dad came down to meet their newest grandson, and they brought Emma, Lara and Jake to meet their tiny baby brother.
  • The first two interventions for Finn (besides IV fluids for nutrition) were the ventilator (which at this point was at very low settings for a baby of his size!), and 3 banks of the blue photo therapy lights used to fight the bilirubin levels in the blood that cause jaundice.
  • Britt stayed overnight in the WORST hospital recliner EVER!
Friday, October 7
  • This day, we were blessed with a lot of visitors!  Some with early birthday presents for me, some to meet Finn, and some surprised to learn of his birth!
  • As we knew he would, Finicky Finn lost some weight, but was doing all the things a micro-preemie of his gestational age should be doing.  Nothing scary; nothing too worrisome.
  • I did have a little breakdown mid-morning when I felt like I had no idea what was going on with my son.  Britt called the NICU and got our nurse to explain a lot of things to us.  It was just a case of they didn’t know what we didn’t know, but this conversation was so revealing and reassuring!
  • My Mom and Dad came again this evening to love on their sweet grandson, and to celebrate my birthday with me.
  • Several of my girlfriends from my LifeGroup brought birthday dinner, birthday presents, baby presents, and LOTS of love for both me and Finn.  It was so fun to introduce my sweet babies to  all our visitors today, but especially to these women who have shown so much support over the past few months.
Saturday, October 8
  • Happy 37th Birthday TO ME!!!!!
  • I was told by the rounding physician that I could go home today, but I really wanted to stay another day, so I asked, and received!
  • My amazing husband and kids came down to spend the day with me, and they decorated my door and room with party decorations a friend had sent earlier in the week – pre-baby!  It was super festive and fun!
  • Britt’s parents came over from Enid to meet their grandson.
  • We had LOTS of birthday visitors, again!
  •  I got my PICC line out – what a relief!
  • Finn’s night nurse for this evening turned out to be a childhood friend of mine!  Such a joy to know he is in such good hands and with someone who cares about our family personally!
Sunday, October 9
  • This morning was ROUGH.  Knowing we were being discharged, but leaving our most precious family member there was not a comforting feeling.  Add to that some confusion about hospital grade breast pump rental, and I was an emotional mess
  • Britt and I both broke down as we left the parking lot!  So hard to leave my tiny baby behind, but there were other kids at home who had not had their mom for months.  It was a hard decision, but I know I made the right one.
  • Once we left the hospital, we stopped by Target for a few things I needed, then on to Babies R Us, as we had to buy a breast pump!  The rental fiasco had left me leaving the hospital to go home without a way to harvest milk for my baby boy.  Nothing a few hundred dollars won’t fix, I guess…
  • When we arrived (finally) in Stillwater, I asked to be dropped off at my parents’ house so they could “baby” me while Britt ran a couple of errands and gathered our kids up from where they stayed for the day.
  • SUCH a joy to have my 3 big Dream Weaver kids with me in a comfortable environment!  I really cherished this evening with them – even if I was trying to recover from major surgery!  So happy!
Monday, October 10
  • Today, I “moved in” with my friends who live close to the hospital in the city.  They are so gracious to let me stay and to let me go, too.  And, since I can’t drive, they take me everywhere, too!  I am one lucky Mom!
  • Trying to get into my “new” routine.  Hard to sleep, still on lots of pain meds, pumping 7-8 times (including in the pumping rooms at the hospital outside the NICU) a day, trying to spend as much time with little Finn as possible.
  • Finn has lost a little more weight, but has evened out.  He is also still under 3 banks of photo-therapy lights for the jaundice.
Tuesday, October 11
  • I had a rough morning – not looking forward to spending the WHOLE day at the hospital again, not knowing what to expect with Finn, missing my husband, my kids, my home…
  • BUT!  ***I GOT TO HOLD MY SON!!!***  This was my first session of “Kangaroo Care” with my baby, and I held him for about an hour.  Made this morning’s meltdown all worth it.
  • My milk had also finally come in, so I was finally pumping enough to feel like I was contributing to Finn’s nutrition – even though he wasn’t even using it yet.
  • And, after I held him, they removed the blue lights!  SUCH a great day! (Let the roller coaster begin!)
Wednesday, October 12
  • One week old TODAY!
  • In celebration, I had cheesecake with my lunch in the hospital cafeteria (my daily stop for nourishment!)
  • I also got to Kangaroo Finn today for about 3 hours.  Pure BLISS!
  • Finn received his first blood transfusion today.  He is so small he can’t produce new blood as fast as he is using it; plus add to that all the nurses draw for tests and such.
  • Speaking of blood tests, they saw some markers in his previous tests that indicate he might be starting to fight an infection, so they started him on broad spectrum antibiotics.
  • As a result, they are starting a blood culture to see what kind of infection he is fighting.
  •  And, one back of the blue lights is back.  :(  WHEW!  Busy Finn day!
  • Happy News is that I caught a ride back to Stillwater for the night and got to have dinner at the Hideaway with my LifeGroup!  SUCH great fellowship!
Thursday, October 13
  • My mom wanted to see Finn, so after we dropped the Big Dream Weaver kids at school, we headed back down to see the baby.
  • More Kangaroo care this afternoon!  I held him about 2 hours today before he got too wiggly and needed to go back.  Put a new fun white cap on for this session!
  • Finn had gained back up past his birth weight , weighing in at 1 pound 15 ounces
  • Finn started breast milk feedings today!  0.5 cc’s every 4 hours.  The nurses call it “half a drop!”  If he tolerates it well he will get more  - today was just to see if his guts were working, not so much for nutrition
Friday, October 14
  • Dad was not feeling well this morning, but came down and hang out with his wife and son after a nap!  We went out for lunch together and it was so nice.
  • Since Finn was tolerating milk well, his feedings were increased to 1 cc (a FULL drop!) every 4 hours.
  • Dad got to experience his first Kangaroo Care session!
  • Unfortunately, it was cut short as Finn was not tolerating it well.  The nurses and doctors had already determined that Finn’s body was not changing the oxygen he was taking in into carbon dioxide like it should, and the numbers were higher than they wanted them.  So, they started making adjustments to his ventilator to see if they could help him with that..
  • We left the city to get back to our other kids thinking they would find the right combination of pressure, oxygen and repetitions to get him going again soon.
  • Ran by Babies R Us to finish up our registry there before we got home to the other kids!
  • Got to our home to find his birth certificate in the mail box!
Saturday, October 15
  • Woke up to a Saturday morning with my kids!  Finished our registries by going to Wiggles and Giggles downtown, had Eskimo Joe’s for lunch, and then loaded up the whole gang and headed to the city to see Finn!
  • We were met by some fun visitors, but this whole time, we knew things weren’t quite right with Finn, his breathing, and his blood gas. 
  • After some fun brother pictures and an opportunity for the girls to love on Finn, we went to Target to finish up our registry there.
  • One last trip in to see Finn, and we were greeted by the doctor to talk about Finn’s issues.
  • The changes made to the ventilator were not changing the blood gas numbers, so they also started Lasix to see if that would help.
  • We left asking for more prayers for Finn, knowing they had found his chest tube to be too small and had switched it out.
  • The numbers were still not correcting, so they decided to switch him from a traditional ventilator, to an oscillator.
  • By 11pm, his numbers were on the rise!
Sunday, October 16
  • Called early to check on Finn, and his numbers were up again! PRAISE!  The oscillator was working!
  • Enjoyed a lazy morning with the kids and went to church and lunch like a normal family!
  • My parents wanted to go see Baby Finn this afternoon, so I rode with them, too.  We enjoyed our time with him, even though the oscillating ventilator was noisy and a bit scary, and it make Finn look like he was shaking.  But, we know it is what he needs, and his numbers still continue to look good!
  • Feeding amount is up to 1.5 cc’s every 4 hours!  He is tolerating it well and digesting it!
  • His weight is up to 2 pounds and 1.5 ounces!  YAY, Finn!
I am hitching a ride back to the city EARLY tomorrow morning!  I could probably drive by now, but I don’t feel ready, and this weekend Britt and I are getting a little “vacation” courtesy of our LifeGroup.  It is Fall Break for our schools, our kids are all taken care of, and he and I are spending the weekend in a hotel, hanging out with Finn, and getting re-acquainted with each other!  (NOT like that – I just had surgery, but it was in a Catholic hospital and they didn’t do my tubal ligation!)  We still covert your prayers.  We know this NICU ride is a roller coaster, and we have really just begun!  Thanks for letting me share this journey with you!

Wednesday, October 12

Finn is Here!


(Britt's hand next to Finn right after he was born)
Finn Ricker Weaver joined us a little sooner than anticipated! He was born on Wednesday, October 5, 2011 at 11:48pm. He weighed in at a tiny 1 pound and 14 ounces, and was 13 inches long. His arrival 14 weeks before his due date was a bit dramatic, and even a bit traumatic, but he is thriving in the NICU at Mercy hospital in Oklahoma City.
Wednesday morning started out much like any other morning on hospital bed rest. Vitals, breakfast, put the baby on the monitor for an hour, watched the endless “Judge” shows on FOX after the morning show goes off. But for some reason, I was extra weepy this Wednesday morning. Just couldn’t stop crying. Sad. Sad because I missed my kids. Sad because I felt “trapped” and “stuck.” Sad because I missed my husband. And sad because I missed Stillwater. Not really anything specific, and I had TONS of visitors, but it just wasn’t the same. I had hit the bed rest WALL, and I couldn’t get over it. Shortly after lunch, I had started to feel better. Gotten a few pep talks from my husband, and a few excellent messages from a fellow twin mom who endured 63 days of hospital bed rest while waiting on her twin girls, and a beautiful bouquet of flowers from my most prominent cheerleader outside of my family. I had given myself a few pep talks as well, and I was looking forward to Skyping (is that a verb?) in to LifeGroup that night with my newly discovered favorite technology! Things were looking up! I knew I could do this!
So, a little before 7, I had all my stuff set up to receive a call, and like magic there were all my Lifers in the Dyson’s living room, right there with me in the hospital room! While it was a bit awkward, it was so good just to see (albeit grainy) them and to hear them! So, life group started. We watched the DVD, answered the questions that went along with the message from the week before. People told stories, we laughed… And then it happened.
At first, I was feeling a bit crampy, which was not at all unusual. Then, I felt a “little” gush, much like I have for the past several weeks. I thought it was no big deal, didn’t feel it had made a mess, and I was determined to be in on the rest of LifeGroup. But, after the small gush, I started feeling not so good. So, about 7:40, I texted the one person I KNEW had their phone out during group, and said I was signing out, I *might* have an issue and I would call to check in later. I felt another “gush” coming on, so I made a mad dash for the bathroom. Barely made it, but thankfully, this “gush” was in a toilet! Only it was bright red. And there was A LOT of it!
I made use of the nurse call string that’s in there. Luckily, my nurse was right outside my door, and she was right in to help me. She took assessment of everything we saw, and asked if I thought my water had broken. I had no idea. She was concerned that it might have, but there is no way to test it with all that blood. The blood overrides the test for amniotic fluid, so the only way to tell is to wait and see. So, she gets me back in bed, calls my Doctor, and hooks up the monitor. The Doctor says we won’t do anything different tonight except monitor the baby all night, and hook me to a bag of IV fluid “just in case.” She had said the baby would react a certain way on the monitor if the fluid level was too low, and we would just watch for that, then do a sonogram in the morning. She also said I could not panic until she panicked, and if she did, I would be able to read it all over her face. I then called Britt (about 10 after 8), and I was not really concerned and didn’t think he should come. He knew I had had a bad morning, and he wanted to be there, so he arranged care for the kids (who were still at church), picked them up from church at 8:30, and was on the way by about 9. At 9:40, while checking on me and the baby, my nurse said to me, “What time is your husband coming?” I thought to myself, “How does she know he is coming?” But, just glanced at the clock, and said he should be there In about 15 minutes. After she left, I thought it was strange, since I wasn’t sure he even NEEDED to be there. Made me glad he was going to be there soon!
Britt arrived just before 10 – and he was glad about that because the main doors close at 10 and he wanted to make sure he was there before he had to wander in the back way. We sat and talked for a long time, watching TV and just getting caught up. About 10:30, there was a lull in the conversation, and we were both just listening to the heart tones of Finn on the monitor. When we noticed some very big decelerations, and they were very close together, we exchange one of those “What should we do now?” looks. I said we would wait for it to happen again, and then I would call the nurse.
No need for that! At 11:01, my nurse came in, sat on the edge of my bed, put her hand on my knee and said, “Sweetheart, we’re going to have a baby.” I nodded as though I understood, even though I didn’t really. And then she said, “Like RIGHT NOW!” And then I saw the panic. And within seconds, 4 other people were in my room. I heard the charge nurse on the phone saying we would have a baby by 11:20. People were putting the compression boots back on my legs, taking off my street clothes and putting me in a gown, putting warmed IV fluid on the pole at a much faster rate, taking my blood pressure, shaving me in preparation for surgery, and so on and so on and so on! Britt and I exchanged a harried glance, and I said, “Go Call My MOM!” He went out to the hall to call her, tried his parents and his sister, then came back in, was thrown a package of paper scrubs, and told to put them on. Next thing I knew, I was being wheeled down the hall to the operating room. As we crossed the threshold, a nurse called out “Time in, 11:09.” Wow. 8 minutes from the time I was told I would be giving birth.
Once we were in the operating room, it was a pretty typical scene. Several NICU people were huddled around an isolette in the corner. The anesthesiologist was ready to administer my spinal. Nurses were scurrying about with their tasks. I soon saw my doctor arrive. One of the nurses was helping to position me for the epidural. The first 3 tries failed (ouch). Then, the secondary surgeon stepped in to get me in position. Tries 4, 5 and 6 failed, too. (OUCH). The last time finally worked, and we might still be there if not for this doctor. He was so patient with me and he was even helping the anesthesiologist. WHEW. It was past 11:30 at this point, and I was worried about Britt being out in the hall and no one telling him what was going on.

Once I was numb, they let him in and got started. I was not worried about this process as this was my 3rd C-section, after all. Britt saw Finn as he was delivered being put in the isolette. I finally hear his tiny cries, and Britt asked if I could see him. Britt could because he was up higher and sitting upright in a stool, but I could not see a thing; they didn’t hold him up and show him to me the way they do on TV!
Once things were stable enough with Finn for transport, Britt followed the NICU team down to the NICU wing with Finn, and there I was waiting to be closed up. Apparently, from what I learned at the end of surgery, my water had indeed broken, the placenta had abrupted (pulled away from the uterine wall), and there were LOTS of blood clots in my abdomen that had to be cleaned up. My doctor even mentioned that he thought about taking my uterus for a few moments as well, but thank God they didn’t do that! Once I was closed up and stable, I was headed back to my room. My first thought was, WHEN do I get to see my baby?!?!?
My nurse told me as soon as I had feeling back and quit throwing up I could go. They checked on my basically every hour on the hour. I was ready to go at 3:30. She came in at 3:30 and told me if I took a nap I could go. When she came in at 5, it woke me up, and she let me go. It took some time to get me up and in the wheelchair, but my sweet husband wheeled me down to see my baby. I looked at him for 2 minutes, and then asked to be taken back to my room. When I got back in bed, I asked for a sick sack, Britt handed me one, and I promptly threw up! I knew I had to not throw up to see my son, so I held it in all that time.
Thursday morning, after a whirlwind morning of nurses, stats, Anesthesiologists checking on me (I guess my back was a MESS from holes and bruises – he said it was the smallest epidural space he had ever seen), a lactation consultant meeting, pumping, and moving rooms, I finally got to see him again. Precious, perfect and TINY! And so our NICU adventure begins. While we are waiting for the day to take Finn home, we will continue to pray for him, his nurses, his doctors, our family and friends and to shine God’s light through this whole situation. It has been a crazy ride, with no end in sight, but we know it is all for the Glory of God!

Thursday, September 29

Double Digits

Well, lookie there!  My ticker is down to 99 days!  Double Digits!  I remember reaching this milestone in my pregnancy with Jake and being really excited!  While I am excited, it comes with a whole different meaning this time.  I have been in this hospital room 2 weeks today.  I will be 26 weeks pregnant tomorrow.  One week left in the 2nd trimester.  My birthday is next week.  All kinds of markers being reached in the next few days!  But, the only marker I want to recognize is that I am STILL pregnant!  Every day counts at this point!

I had some pretty serious bleeding overnight Tuesday night, which left me crampy, frustrated, and lethargic yesterday.  I got a surprise visit from my AMAZING husband in the middle of the day which helped my mood immensely, and we actually napped together for a bit while he was here, so that made me feel better not only for myself, but for his physical well being as well.  I know this whole ordeal has to be taking its toll on him, too.

I know he is physically tired - we were often tired from the wear and tear of 3 kids, 2 full time jobs, and a household to run when I was home.  I can only imagine what that’s like for him now.  We are blessed with the help of my wonderful parents, but coordinating everything can be just as tiring as actually carrying out the tasks.  I know he is mentally worn out as well.  He is sad and he misses us.  Two of the most important people in his life are far away, and there is nothing he can do to hold us or protect us.  That has to be heartbreaking (I know it is for me, too).  And then when he is able to come, it’s over 2 hours in the car round trip.  When you are already physically and mentally exhausted, that can be torturous.  I just want to take a moment to honor him here, publicly, and say THANK YOU to everyone who is trying (and succeeding) at lightening his load, but to also remind you to keep praying for him. And a surprise drink from Sonic might just make his day! Britt Weaver, I love you, and I think you are doing an AMAZING job with the lot you’ve been given the past 2 weeks, and I know you are strong and can do this!  Thank you for taking on this challenge so gracefully.  I pray for you constantly!

I also want to say thank you to everyone who has visited, send cards, brought gifts, and generally made this all a bit more bearable.  The guest book is getting full - and I’ve accidentally let a few people go without signing it!  I am overwhelmed with your generosity and your thoughtfulness.  This room is definitely a lot more homey today than the day I got here when there was no guest furniture, just a hospital bed and a bunch of equipment!  Also want to say thank you, again, to the folks from my LTC lifegroup who went the extra mile to set up the Weaver Support Fund.  This gesture was totally unexpected, and we are truly grateful for the blessing it will be in months to come.

PS - I woke up exhausted this morning.  I dreamed - more than once - that I was not pregnant with one son, but with triplet girls!  I guess it could ALWAYS be worse!

Monday, September 26

Emotional Weekend


Today is Monday, and I am 25 weeks 3 days pregnant, and my baby is the size of an eggplant.  The past couple of days have been an emotional roller coaster!  Health wise, Baby Finn and I are both great.  My bleeding has been minimal to nonexistent, and of course “Dance Party” has been moving and grooving like crazy.  Even gets the hiccups pretty regularly.  But, name an emotion, and I have had it over the last few days.  Fear?  You bet!  Exhaustion?  Comes with sleepless nights.  Disappointment?  Beyond measure.  Joy?  Have you met my son, he came to see me.  Pride? I have 2 of the most well behaved red-heads you have ever met.  I could go on and on…

I have been continually blessed with visitors.  My parents came by themselves on Friday night, then my husband and 3 kids on Saturday.  Emma and Lara were only here a couple of hours before a friend whisked them away to an event filled sleepover with a good friend who used to live in Stillwater but is now here in the city.  She texted me pictures throughout their day/night, and a good time was definitely had by all!  Britt and Jake stayed here with me, and we watched our beloved OSU Cowboys beat Texas A&M.  It was so fun – and since Jake slept through most of the game, Britt and I enjoys some quiet time, too!  (Not took long after the game started, Jake asked for a blanket, curled up on the couch with his Bobby, stuck his thumb in his mouth, and was OUT for almost 3 hours!)  Sunday, my parents came again to see me, and to pick up the Twisters after their fun adventure.  They all hung out with me for a couple of hours – the girls painted their fingernails while they were here – then it was quiet for a little while.  Sunday evening, 2 families from my AMAZING LifeGroup came by, too.  It just makes the time go faster and also allows us all to build our relationships and stay connected.  I am so thankful for their kindness and diligence to help me through this crazy time in my life.

But, it was not all candy and roses this weekend.  We had a little “domestic disturbance” on the hall that left me scared, mad, helpless, and frustrated.  It actually happened the first time Thursday night.  Twice a day, they hook me up to the monitor for an hour to gauge Finn’s heart tones and my contractions.  It’s a long hour every time as I have to lay flat on my back and lie very still since he is such a wiggler and tends to get away from the monitor at least once or twice a session.  So, imagine my frustration Thursday night when my hour was up and my nurse was NOT coming back!  30 extra minutes, and a nursing student comes in, simply to turn off the machine and take the belts off me.  While that was a physical relief, I had heard the ruckus in the hall, and it had “tied up” my nurse, so I was curious, naturally!  So, she did come in several minutes later to administer meds, and she kinda of joked about the “domestic” we were having.  7 OKC police men were on the hall.  So, to small town Betsey, that was a lot, and kind of raised my awareness.  Fast Forward to Saturday night, late.  Britt and Jake were in Stillwater at the airport welcoming the OSU Cowboy football team and staff back to Stillwater when I started texting him.  The lady next door was just HYSTERICAL!  She was screaming and yelling (cussing) and throwing things (that were breaking), there was a man’s voice dishing it out just as bad as she was.  Mind you, I was hooked up to the baby monitor, basically TRAPPED to my bed, and it sounded like they were in this room with me (thin walls).  It escalated A LOT before I heard security get involved.  Plus, I was texting Britt and my friend who had my girls like crazy.  She offered to come up here, but they wouldn’t have let her in since they were dealing with this out in the hall.  Again, I am well past my hour mark on monitoring, I am now scared, helpless and MAD!   Felt so helpless!  Strapped to my bed, can’t get up, weak from being on bed rest for weeks, no lock on my door, don’t feel safe, nurses can’t get to me… SCARED!  They finally intervened and got the situation under control.  But after about an hour, it started up AGAIN!  How did he get back up on the floor?  WHO let him in???  Long story short, Britt ended up on the phone with the charge nurse for the shift at about 11:30 who came down and blew some hot air and told me they were trying to get the guy off the floor and banned from coming back (not sure of the relationship, but come to find out this lady is a bit coo coo for cocoa puffs and hates her husband/baby daddy).  She told me this patient was “not a threat to the floor,” and that “she’s just angry” which I told her was fine and good, but she was definitely a disturbance.  She asked if I wanted to move rooms to down the hall.  Um, NO!  I am settled in here, I have decorated, all my STUFF is here, I’m not moving.  To which she said, “We can bring a cart and we will help you.”  I declined again, and suggested the Crazy next door be moved.  She didn’t answer that and left thinking she had pacified me, when all she had done was stirred my pot and left me with a restless, sleepless night.

The next morning, one of my doctors came in, and we re-hashed the night’s events as well – I was making sure she too knew I was not pleased with the situation.  She patronized me and said it’s hard to witness something like that when you’re not used to living in a big city where things like that tend to happen.  UGH!  Then, she offered me anti-depressants.  REALLY?!?!  How ‘bout you just make sure I am safe, and start the psycho next door on some anti-psychotics!  I am FINE – just need to feel safe and well cared for and that I am getting my money’s worth – which I did not feel that night.

Anyway – I am better now.  And NO – I am not on any anti-depressants.  I will not dwell on that awful 12 hours, and I slept much better the next night.  My IV relocation went very well yesterday, and 2 of my doctors have now mentioned if my bleeding stays away for a week we may consider sending me home.  I am not pinning any hopes on that.  I’m not sure that is a good idea, since I would be back home on bed rest, and I would be home in my house alone all day, and that’s a scary prospect if something were to go wrong.  I feel safer (most of the time) here with nurses and doctors and medical care.  But, we’re not even to that conversation yet, so I’m not even giving it much thought.  Just thought it was interesting that 2 of the 3 doctors have now mentioned it.
I am looking forward to a lunch guest today and a solo visit from my husband tonight.  I watched some good football games and new fall TV series on the tube this week, and know I will continue to do that this week as well.  I am also proud that I got my wedding rings off for the first time in MONTHS so I sent them back to Stillwater with Britt for a good cleaning and to be re-plated, as they were SO dirty.  Not sure if I will put them back on or not…

Also, notice the new link at the top of the page.  Members of my LifeGroup have started a bank account for us to help with medical bills.  I would like to publicly thank Gabi Martin, Daniel Thrasher, John Crawford and the rest of LTC for making this happen for us.  We have no idea what the financial ramifications of this ordeal will be, but it will be stressful for our family, and we are grateful for the offer to help.

Tuesday, September 20

Hospital Bed Rest

Livin’ in the OC!  OK - it’s not as glamorous or exciting as Orange County, CA, but Oklahoma City has is pluses!  I have been a (temporary) resident for 4 and a half days now.  And I gotta say, after the initial shock started to wear off, it’s not so bad.  Pretty sure I cried 15 out of the first 18 hours I was here, but things have evened out a bit, and I know this is the ONLY thing I can be doing right now.  I have been trying to get this blog entry penned typed for 2 days now, but being here is surprisingly time consuming and busy.  Let me unpack the last few days for you.

Last I blogged was on Wednesday of last week, and I was in the Stillwater hospital, being told I will probably go to Mercy in Oklahoma City either Thursday or Friday.  I woke up Thursday morning with nothing really going on.  Since Wednesday was kinda nuts, my mom had the kids and decided to skip a trip to see me before taking them to school.  Britt came by, hoping to catch the doctor on rounds, but left right about 8 to get to work.  Of course, my doctor came in at 8:10!  Nothing new was really said, just that he was going to consult with the specialists in OKC again and start talking about the transfer and how that was going to happen.  Still seemed like a pretty distant event, and after he left, I am pretty sure I went back to sleep.  At just past noon, he walked in again.  I remember being pretty surprised to see him so soon, and also thinking how strange it was that he was the last person in my room as well - I had no visitors that morning!  Surprise quickly turned to shock when he asked about Britt’s whereabouts and how quickly he could get here.  I knew that was not a good sign.  The doctor went on to tell me that as soon as we could get checked out and down the road, we needed to be seen at the specialists’ office, then we would be admitted from there.  *JAW DROP.*  This was happening, and NOW!


My first phone call was to Britt after the doctor left the room to get me discharged from SMC.  He, of course, was caught as much off guard as I was!  I told him not to hurry, but to wrap things up at work and get here ASAP.  Then, I called my mom.  She assumed I was wanting some lunch and was talking on top pf me offering me suggestions of what she was close to.  I finally got a word in and told her the situation.  I asked her to go to the school and get my babies so I could see them before I left.  Amazingly, she and the kids got to the hospital before Britt did, so I got to hug on them and hang out with them for a few (come to find out Britt had stopped by the house to get a few things).  It was about 12:45 when I was loaded up and the kids were headed back to school and I was headed to the city.  We stopped for food (I hadn’t eaten) and gas and were on our way.  I am not sure what time we arrived at the doctor’s office, but it was raining and parking was a mess.  I was a walk-in patient to the clinic, and when I checked in, they informed me that both doctors who were in clinic (there are 3 physicians on staff there) had been called to the hospital for deliveries, so they were an hour behind!  YIKES!  I was worried I would be sitting there an eternity.  Again, not sure how long we waited, but after awhile we were called back, and it was a quick “appointment.”  The technician did a quick ultrasound, the doctor came in and did one, too, then we were escorted by a nurse through back hall ways, building bridges, elevators and walkways to the antepartum wing of Labor and Delivery at Mercy Health Center.  They had been advised of my arrival from Stillwater, so after some minimal paperwork (standing up at a counter - I was getting light headed by this point after being down for weeks) I was in a gown in a room about 4:00pm.  That’s when the real fun began!


Let’s not sugar coat this.  This was (is) a traumatic experience.  By this point in the day, every nerve I have was frayed, my patience had been tested beyond its limits, my physical body had taken a beating, and I was scared.  Oh, and dehydrated.  So, the next few hours were a blur of tears, failed IV and/or blood draw attempts (2 nurses, 75 minutes, at least 6 sticks), instruction, confusion and more tears.  My admitting doctor came in on rounds during the IV fiasco and suggested a central line, but not too long after that a very “aggressive” nurse came in and basically jammed the IV into my right hand.  It still hurts like heck (they are moving it today - I have still not convinced myself the PIC line in the best alternative to having an IV and having it moved every 4 days, plus a blood draw every 3 days...)  While (trying to) get settled in, Britt ran to Target for a few things I needed - we had come from Stillwater basically empty handed.  Our room was void of furniture due to a baby boom and some furniture being sent out to be recovered.  So, that left no place for Britt to sleep that first night.  I started trying to send him home about 7:30 pm, but it was breaking his heart what they were doing to me and all my tears, so it was closer to 9:30 before he finally left.  I was expecting a call from him around 10:45 from home, so imagine my surprise when he called at that time declaring he was “finally back on the road.”  I was very confused, then SHOCKED to learn he had a blow out north of Guthrie on I-35 as he was headed home!  REALLY?!?!?  What more could we endure that day?


But, sleep finally came for all of us.  The shock and stress of the day started to fade away.  As my mother always says, “Tomorrow is another day.”  And it was.  Friday came and we all started adjusting to our new reality.  The last 4 days are kind of a blur of getting into a routine, learning about the hospital, deciding what works and doesn’t work for me from the menu, listening to Baby Finn’s heart tones on the monitor, tears, and VISITORS!  Whew!  Surprisingly, this bed rest is hard work!  It is pretty hard on your body.  God didn’t make us to be this idle, and it really tires you out!  Plus, my iPhone dings like crazy with texts, phone calls, voice mails, Twitter alerts mentioning me, Facebook status updates and notifications, plus the never ending emails!  So, managing all of that seems to keep me busy, too.  OH!  And Words with Friends.  You people KILL me every game, but I like playing!  My kids have been up here 3 times, my parents twice, Britt a few times (yesterday even by himself!  BLISS!), and almost countless others.  Britt got me a little guest book to have folks sign, and I know we are going to treasure that forever.  I also have some owl friends watching over me, and the big family portrait on canvas from my living room at home is now hanging over the couch (we finally got guest furniture on Sunday after some families were discharged).  I have snacks, books, magazines, gift cards, chocolate, jelly beans, plastic ware, chargers for all my electronics, toiletries, and pretty much everything I think I could need at this point in baskets and a cabinet near my bed.  My sister-in-law is determined to come decorate.  I hope to be here for a long, LONG time, so everyone is trying to make this place feel like a home.  It’s getting there!


As for our health.  Things are staying the course.  Today, I am back to spotting and bleeding a small amount.  I actually had 2 days of no blood at all, but on rounds one morning my doctor told me not to get too secure in that, as my pattern has been to be stable for a few days, then have a huge incident.  I have also not had any cramping or contractions since I have been here.  While I have an IV port in my hand, I have not had any IV fluids or meds.  They draw my blood every 3 days for basic tests, but I am totally stable.  They check my BP and temp every 5-6 hours, and they monitor Finn on the heart tone monitor for one hour 2x a day.  That little adventure can prove to be tiring - taking up to 2.5 hours depending on how active Finn is being!  He’s still so little and has so much room to move around, we lose his tracking several times during the hour and have to move the monitor and start over.  BUT!  Every time they do it the nurses are super impressed with his activity level and heart rare.  He is doing SO WELL and is SO STRONG!  The doctor who did rounds this morning even mentioned how great his tracks are!  Good job, Little Buddy!  The nurses and staff are EXCELLENT, and I have been blessed with the same (awesome) day nurse everyday that I have been here.  And when she’s on duty, she will be with me!  That’s such a comfort and a great way to establish a relationship!


And for what lies ahead.  I am to “Lay still and know that he is God.”  (Paraphrase of Psalm 46:10 - my Uncle wrote this in the guest book.)  I am 24 weeks 4 days today.  We are still a few days from that HUGE 25 week date which marks viability in my little world.  That’s Friday.  And we can breathe a *tiny* sign of relief. Each week, each 24 hours after that is a huge blessing and one step closer to a healthy baby.  The doctor told us on Thursday that we are on a sliding scale right now.  It would take a LARGE event to spur delivery at this point, but as time goes on and the baby continues to grow, it would take a smaller and smaller event to put us into delivery.  I really want to be here 6-10 weeks at least.  That’s 30- 32 weeks gestation.  I’m 4 days in.  I can do this, right?


Things are a bit chaotic on the home front in Stilly, but Britt and my parents are working it out with the help of our AMAZING LifeGroup and other friends.  They are still getting meals, help with kid transport, and tons of offers for babysitting.  I know this is hard on everyone, and I just pray as the weeks progress we can all find a routine.  Please continue to pray for Finn and I, but also those in Stillwater left to fill in the gaps created by my being here.  I obviously would  not be anywhere else, but I get sad thinking about all I am missing out on back home, and how hard others are working to make sure it all goes off smoothly.
I am in a good mood today and had a great day yesterday.  Right now I am in the last 30 minutes of my morning Finn monitoring, and he is doing great.  I am excited to see what the next few days bring so I can share that with you, too.  In the meantime, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.”  James 5:16

Wednesday, September 14

Deja Vu - All over again!

So, the last time I blogged was Friday.  It is now Wednesday night.  I have been to and from the hospital twice during that time.  Friday and Saturday were uneventful.  Getting used to this bed rest thing and sleeping whenever I wanted to!   Friday night was “date night.”  The girls were in OKC with their other Dad, and some friends brought us pizza, cheesecake, movies and flowers, and took Jake with them for a few hours so Britt could just RELAX and spend time with his bride.  I had a huge giggle fit during one of the movies, and we really enjoyed our time together.  Saturday was pretty quiet - Jake had a birthday party to go to and Britt made a Wal-Mart run for groceries.  Just a nice relaxing day.

Overnight  Saturday night I woke up to one of my infamous “gush” feelings.  Only this time, it didn’t feel the same.  I actually got some on the bed, and upon further inspection, it looks less like blood and more like fluid.  That’s no good.  That’s scary!  So, at 2:30 am, we loaded up Jake, his blanket, “Bobby” (his lovie) and headed BACK to L&D.  Because I was still bleeding, they could not check to see if what I was leaking was actually amniotic fluid, but they did over an ultra sound.  One of my favorite moments from the wee hours of the morning was when Britt and Jake had gotten all settled in on the fold out couch/bed thing, and I was hooked up to monitors so we could hear Finn’s heart tones, AND all his movement.  Jake looks up, looks around and says, “I can’t sleep with Finn’s heart beating so loud!”  Little did he know what a comfort that was to Mom and Dad.  

My doctor was in Colorado for the weekend, so one of his associates was on call.  She ordered the ultrasound, which again showed Baby to be doing SO well.  The only concern was that the dark spots (presumable clots) from last Wednesday were now bigger.  NOT what we wanted to hear, but still manageable.  So, they observed me for a few more hours, my bleeding never really got any worse, the doctor declared it a “bladder spasm” and that I had leaked urine (I still don’t believe that), and she released me to go back home to bed rest.

Monday and Tuesday passed by with lots of book reading and a little TV watching.  I had been gifted a Visa card for online shopping, so I had ordered Glee Season 2 on DVD (which arrived Tuesday) and several books for my Kindle.  In the meantime, my Kindle’s screen froze up (still haven’t called about that), so I had to download the books to my iPhone, but I still managed to read 3 books in 2 days.  WOW!  But, Tuesday evening I started not feeling well.  Just “off” somehow.  About 11pm, I decided I was constipated, so I sent the ever gallant husband to the store for some relief.  He got back, I took some meds, and we went to bed - hoping for relief in the morning...

I never really made it to “morning.”  I woke up at 1, still not feeling well, but not wanting to disturb my exhausted hubby, so I opted to try the couch.  At this point, I was feeling pretty crampy, and was praying it didn’t turn into contractions.  I slept off and on (and drank about 40 oz of water) until about 3:30, when I decided I was so uncomfortable I couldn’t bare it.  I made (yet another) trip to the restroom, trying for some relief - to no avail.  I laid on the couch some more, then decided I might feel better if I showered (it has been 5 days, and I know I am on strict bed rest,  but I was DIRTY and my hair - forget about it!).  That DID NOT help!  While I felt cleaner, I was now having contractions, and at a loss as to what I should be doing.  I was pacing the floor, I had finally gotten Britt in on the drama, and he was ready to go to the hospital LONG before I was!  I was not wanting to go BACK to L&D AGAIN!  I didn’t want to be poked and prodded.  I didn’t want an IV or blood draw, but most importantly, I didn’t want a nurse I had never had before that I had to explain my while story to AGAIN!  Needless to say, I was crying, in pain, and indecisive.  Britt got dressed, and said he was ready when I was.  At 5:30, I reluctantly got in the car with him - leaving the 3 kids at home and texting my mom to come hang with the littles.

The other thing I don’t like about coming to the hospital at that time at night is that it is still locked up, and you have to go through the ER, which adds TIME to the process.  Ugh Ugh Ugh.  And, lo and behold, I got a nurse who didn’t know my situation - AT ALL.  She was P*SSING me off, saying all the wrong things, and I knew more about what needed to be done with me than she did - simply because she didn’t know.  Once I was hooked up and being monitored, Britt and I were left to cry with each other.  I was having very painful contractions (which were not registering on the monitor, so the nurse kept saying I wasn’t having any!), and I just felt crappy.  That’s when it happened...

About 6:45... WORST. PAIN. EVER!  Up to this point, my blood had been pretty light.  I hadn’t even been bleeding when we left the house, but I did have a gush right as we got to the hospital.  But this next event is not for the squeamish to read.  if you are easily offended, skip to the next paragraph.  So, I was writing in pain, crying, and trying to spread my pain out by crushing my husband’s hand.  Then, I felt *something* come out “down there.”  The contraction let go, and i said to Britt, “I don’t know what just happened, but it was BIG!!!”  He asked if he should look, I said he could do what he wanted to - so he looked.  Then immediately pressed the nurse call button, got up, shivered, and crossed the room.   the nurse cam in to look at “it,” gathered up the pad I was sitting on and told us she was going to show “it” to the other nurses.  A little later, my day nurse came in, and we were talking about “it” - the blood clot.  She told me it was the size of a Chihuahua.  WHAT?!?!?  Of all the things in this world to compare it to, THAT’S what she chose???  LOL!  We had a good laugh about that all day.

Sonogram was next - and (as usual) Finn is doing great!  Having a dance party - just like he always does.  (Every time they came to monitor him today they had to chase him around my belly to keep a track on the heart tones!)  He has grown a lot, and now weighs 1
pound 7 ounces and measures right on track.  He had plenty of fluid, and all is great for him.  And, GLORY to GOD - she saw NONE of the spots and clots the other sonographers have been watching!  Is this it?  Was that the last of it?  The doctor came in not too much later (he was between surgery cases), and was pleased with the sono report, but was a bit worried about one of the numbers on my blood test, so he told me he wanted me to stay overnight and re-do the blood draw in the morning.  He also said we still have no idea what this is or why it is happening.  He said in his 30 years of having a medical license, he has NEVER seen a case like this.  I am causing him bald spots as he scratches his head while thinking about my case.  In the meantime, he was going to call my specialist at Mercy and see what they thought the next step should be.

I had a few more small contractions after I birthed the Chihuahua, and a few more after the sonogram, and none since then.  I feel SO MUCH BETTER!  And my bleeding has tapered off as the day went along.  I am comfortable in a regular recovery room, and settling in for the stay.  The afternoon/evening were a bit nutty getting everyone where they needed to be, but I got to see my kids for a minute, and even had a “mini” LifeGroup in my hospital room.

But, there was some not quite as exciting news this evening, too.  My doctor came in, and he had consulted with my specialist earlier today.  The verdict?  Since we don’t know what this is, and I only seem to stay stable a couple of days, I am being transferred to hospital bed rest at Mercy in OKC sometime Thursday or Friday for the duration of this pregnancy.  While we feel I am not in imminent danger of delivering, we need to be close to the NICU just in case.  It really is the best situation for all of us.

This is a scary time for me, and for my family.  A lot of changes are happening very quickly, and it is a bit overwhelming.  I know this is the right thing to do for my baby and the future of my family, but I worry about the strain this can cause for my kids, my husband, and my parents.  Please be in prayer for all of us during this time.  It is a time of adjustment, again!  I just know that this baby is going to do GREAT things all for the GLORY of GOD!  Can I get an AMEN?