Emotional Weekend

Today is Monday, and I am 25 weeks 3 days pregnant, and my baby is the size of an eggplant.  The past couple of days have been an emotional roller coaster!  Health wise, Baby Finn and I are both great.  My bleeding has been minimal to nonexistent, and of course “Dance Party” has been moving and grooving like crazy.  Even gets the hiccups pretty regularly.  But, name an emotion, and I have had it over the last few days.  Fear?  You bet!  Exhaustion?  Comes with sleepless nights.  Disappointment?  Beyond measure.  Joy?  Have you met my son, he came to see me.  Pride? I have 2 of the most well behaved red-heads you have ever met.  I could go on and on…

I have been continually blessed with visitors.  My parents came by themselves on Friday night, then my husband and 3 kids on Saturday.  Emma and Lara were only here a couple of hours before a friend whisked them away to an event filled sleepover with a good friend who used to live in Stillwater but is now here in the city.  She texted me pictures throughout their day/night, and a good time was definitely had by all!  Britt and Jake stayed here with me, and we watched our beloved OSU Cowboys beat Texas A&M.  It was so fun – and since Jake slept through most of the game, Britt and I enjoys some quiet time, too!  (Not took long after the game started, Jake asked for a blanket, curled up on the couch with his Bobby, stuck his thumb in his mouth, and was OUT for almost 3 hours!)  Sunday, my parents came again to see me, and to pick up the Twisters after their fun adventure.  They all hung out with me for a couple of hours – the girls painted their fingernails while they were here – then it was quiet for a little while.  Sunday evening, 2 families from my AMAZING LifeGroup came by, too.  It just makes the time go faster and also allows us all to build our relationships and stay connected.  I am so thankful for their kindness and diligence to help me through this crazy time in my life.

But, it was not all candy and roses this weekend.  We had a little “domestic disturbance” on the hall that left me scared, mad, helpless, and frustrated.  It actually happened the first time Thursday night.  Twice a day, they hook me up to the monitor for an hour to gauge Finn’s heart tones and my contractions.  It’s a long hour every time as I have to lay flat on my back and lie very still since he is such a wiggler and tends to get away from the monitor at least once or twice a session.  So, imagine my frustration Thursday night when my hour was up and my nurse was NOT coming back!  30 extra minutes, and a nursing student comes in, simply to turn off the machine and take the belts off me.  While that was a physical relief, I had heard the ruckus in the hall, and it had “tied up” my nurse, so I was curious, naturally!  So, she did come in several minutes later to administer meds, and she kinda of joked about the “domestic” we were having.  7 OKC police men were on the hall.  So, to small town Betsey, that was a lot, and kind of raised my awareness.  Fast Forward to Saturday night, late.  Britt and Jake were in Stillwater at the airport welcoming the OSU Cowboy football team and staff back to Stillwater when I started texting him.  The lady next door was just HYSTERICAL!  She was screaming and yelling (cussing) and throwing things (that were breaking), there was a man’s voice dishing it out just as bad as she was.  Mind you, I was hooked up to the baby monitor, basically TRAPPED to my bed, and it sounded like they were in this room with me (thin walls).  It escalated A LOT before I heard security get involved.  Plus, I was texting Britt and my friend who had my girls like crazy.  She offered to come up here, but they wouldn’t have let her in since they were dealing with this out in the hall.  Again, I am well past my hour mark on monitoring, I am now scared, helpless and MAD!   Felt so helpless!  Strapped to my bed, can’t get up, weak from being on bed rest for weeks, no lock on my door, don’t feel safe, nurses can’t get to me… SCARED!  They finally intervened and got the situation under control.  But after about an hour, it started up AGAIN!  How did he get back up on the floor?  WHO let him in???  Long story short, Britt ended up on the phone with the charge nurse for the shift at about 11:30 who came down and blew some hot air and told me they were trying to get the guy off the floor and banned from coming back (not sure of the relationship, but come to find out this lady is a bit coo coo for cocoa puffs and hates her husband/baby daddy).  She told me this patient was “not a threat to the floor,” and that “she’s just angry” which I told her was fine and good, but she was definitely a disturbance.  She asked if I wanted to move rooms to down the hall.  Um, NO!  I am settled in here, I have decorated, all my STUFF is here, I’m not moving.  To which she said, “We can bring a cart and we will help you.”  I declined again, and suggested the Crazy next door be moved.  She didn’t answer that and left thinking she had pacified me, when all she had done was stirred my pot and left me with a restless, sleepless night.

The next morning, one of my doctors came in, and we re-hashed the night’s events as well – I was making sure she too knew I was not pleased with the situation.  She patronized me and said it’s hard to witness something like that when you’re not used to living in a big city where things like that tend to happen.  UGH!  Then, she offered me anti-depressants.  REALLY?!?!  How ‘bout you just make sure I am safe, and start the psycho next door on some anti-psychotics!  I am FINE – just need to feel safe and well cared for and that I am getting my money’s worth – which I did not feel that night.

Anyway – I am better now.  And NO – I am not on any anti-depressants.  I will not dwell on that awful 12 hours, and I slept much better the next night.  My IV relocation went very well yesterday, and 2 of my doctors have now mentioned if my bleeding stays away for a week we may consider sending me home.  I am not pinning any hopes on that.  I’m not sure that is a good idea, since I would be back home on bed rest, and I would be home in my house alone all day, and that’s a scary prospect if something were to go wrong.  I feel safer (most of the time) here with nurses and doctors and medical care.  But, we’re not even to that conversation yet, so I’m not even giving it much thought.  Just thought it was interesting that 2 of the 3 doctors have now mentioned it.

I am looking forward to a lunch guest today and a solo visit from my husband tonight.  I watched some good football games and new fall TV series on the tube this week, and know I will continue to do that this week as well.  I am also proud that I got my wedding rings off for the first time in MONTHS so I sent them back to Stillwater with Britt for a good cleaning and to be re-plated, as they were SO dirty.  Not sure if I will put them back on or not…

Also, notice the new link at the top of the page.  Members of my LifeGroup have started a bank account for us to help with medical bills.  I would like to publicly thank Gabi Martin, Daniel Thrasher, John Crawford and the rest of LTC for making this happen for us.  We have no idea what the financial ramifications of this ordeal will be, but it will be stressful for our family, and we are grateful for the offer to help.