Deja Vu - All over again!

So, the last time I blogged was Friday.  It is now Wednesday night.  I have been to and from the hospital twice during that time.  Friday and Saturday were uneventful.  Getting used to this bed rest thing and sleeping whenever I wanted to!   Friday night was “date night.”  The girls were in OKC with their other Dad, and some friends brought us pizza, cheesecake, movies and flowers, and took Jake with them for a few hours so Britt could just RELAX and spend time with his bride.  I had a huge giggle fit during one of the movies, and we really enjoyed our time together.  Saturday was pretty quiet - Jake had a birthday party to go to and Britt made a Wal-Mart run for groceries.  Just a nice relaxing day.

Overnight  Saturday night I woke up to one of my infamous “gush” feelings.  Only this time, it didn’t feel the same.  I actually got some on the bed, and upon further inspection, it looks less like blood and more like fluid.  That’s no good.  That’s scary!  So, at 2:30 am, we loaded up Jake, his blanket, “Bobby” (his lovie) and headed BACK to L&D.  Because I was still bleeding, they could not check to see if what I was leaking was actually amniotic fluid, but they did over an ultra sound.  One of my favorite moments from the wee hours of the morning was when Britt and Jake had gotten all settled in on the fold out couch/bed thing, and I was hooked up to monitors so we could hear Finn’s heart tones, AND all his movement.  Jake looks up, looks around and says, “I can’t sleep with Finn’s heart beating so loud!”  Little did he know what a comfort that was to Mom and Dad.  

My doctor was in Colorado for the weekend, so one of his associates was on call.  She ordered the ultrasound, which again showed Baby to be doing SO well.  The only concern was that the dark spots (presumable clots) from last Wednesday were now bigger.  NOT what we wanted to hear, but still manageable.  So, they observed me for a few more hours, my bleeding never really got any worse, the doctor declared it a “bladder spasm” and that I had leaked urine (I still don’t believe that), and she released me to go back home to bed rest.

Monday and Tuesday passed by with lots of book reading and a little TV watching.  I had been gifted a Visa card for online shopping, so I had ordered Glee Season 2 on DVD (which arrived Tuesday) and several books for my Kindle.  In the meantime, my Kindle’s screen froze up (still haven’t called about that), so I had to download the books to my iPhone, but I still managed to read 3 books in 2 days.  WOW!  But, Tuesday evening I started not feeling well.  Just “off” somehow.  About 11pm, I decided I was constipated, so I sent the ever gallant husband to the store for some relief.  He got back, I took some meds, and we went to bed - hoping for relief in the morning...

I never really made it to “morning.”  I woke up at 1, still not feeling well, but not wanting to disturb my exhausted hubby, so I opted to try the couch.  At this point, I was feeling pretty crampy, and was praying it didn’t turn into contractions.  I slept off and on (and drank about 40 oz of water) until about 3:30, when I decided I was so uncomfortable I couldn’t bare it.  I made (yet another) trip to the restroom, trying for some relief - to no avail.  I laid on the couch some more, then decided I might feel better if I showered (it has been 5 days, and I know I am on strict bed rest,  but I was DIRTY and my hair - forget about it!).  That DID NOT help!  While I felt cleaner, I was now having contractions, and at a loss as to what I should be doing.  I was pacing the floor, I had finally gotten Britt in on the drama, and he was ready to go to the hospital LONG before I was!  I was not wanting to go BACK to L&D AGAIN!  I didn’t want to be poked and prodded.  I didn’t want an IV or blood draw, but most importantly, I didn’t want a nurse I had never had before that I had to explain my while story to AGAIN!  Needless to say, I was crying, in pain, and indecisive.  Britt got dressed, and said he was ready when I was.  At 5:30, I reluctantly got in the car with him - leaving the 3 kids at home and texting my mom to come hang with the littles.

The other thing I don’t like about coming to the hospital at that time at night is that it is still locked up, and you have to go through the ER, which adds TIME to the process.  Ugh Ugh Ugh.  And, lo and behold, I got a nurse who didn’t know my situation - AT ALL.  She was P*SSING me off, saying all the wrong things, and I knew more about what needed to be done with me than she did - simply because she didn’t know.  Once I was hooked up and being monitored, Britt and I were left to cry with each other.  I was having very painful contractions (which were not registering on the monitor, so the nurse kept saying I wasn’t having any!), and I just felt crappy.  That’s when it happened...

About 6:45... WORST. PAIN. EVER!  Up to this point, my blood had been pretty light.  I hadn’t even been bleeding when we left the house, but I did have a gush right as we got to the hospital.  But this next event is not for the squeamish to read.  if you are easily offended, skip to the next paragraph.  So, I was writing in pain, crying, and trying to spread my pain out by crushing my husband’s hand.  Then, I felt *something* come out “down there.”  The contraction let go, and i said to Britt, “I don’t know what just happened, but it was BIG!!!”  He asked if he should look, I said he could do what he wanted to - so he looked.  Then immediately pressed the nurse call button, got up, shivered, and crossed the room.   the nurse cam in to look at “it,” gathered up the pad I was sitting on and told us she was going to show “it” to the other nurses.  A little later, my day nurse came in, and we were talking about “it” - the blood clot.  She told me it was the size of a Chihuahua.  WHAT?!?!?  Of all the things in this world to compare it to, THAT’S what she chose???  LOL!  We had a good laugh about that all day.

Sonogram was next - and (as usual) Finn is doing great!  Having a dance party - just like he always does.  (Every time they came to monitor him today they had to chase him around my belly to keep a track on the heart tones!)  He has grown a lot, and now weighs 1
pound 7 ounces and measures right on track.  He had plenty of fluid, and all is great for him.  And, GLORY to GOD - she saw NONE of the spots and clots the other sonographers have been watching!  Is this it?  Was that the last of it?  The doctor came in not too much later (he was between surgery cases), and was pleased with the sono report, but was a bit worried about one of the numbers on my blood test, so he told me he wanted me to stay overnight and re-do the blood draw in the morning.  He also said we still have no idea what this is or why it is happening.  He said in his 30 years of having a medical license, he has NEVER seen a case like this.  I am causing him bald spots as he scratches his head while thinking about my case.  In the meantime, he was going to call my specialist at Mercy and see what they thought the next step should be.

I had a few more small contractions after I birthed the Chihuahua, and a few more after the sonogram, and none since then.  I feel SO MUCH BETTER!  And my bleeding has tapered off as the day went along.  I am comfortable in a regular recovery room, and settling in for the stay.  The afternoon/evening were a bit nutty getting everyone where they needed to be, but I got to see my kids for a minute, and even had a “mini” LifeGroup in my hospital room.

But, there was some not quite as exciting news this evening, too.  My doctor came in, and he had consulted with my specialist earlier today.  The verdict?  Since we don’t know what this is, and I only seem to stay stable a couple of days, I am being transferred to hospital bed rest at Mercy in OKC sometime Thursday or Friday for the duration of this pregnancy.  While we feel I am not in imminent danger of delivering, we need to be close to the NICU just in case.  It really is the best situation for all of us.

This is a scary time for me, and for my family.  A lot of changes are happening very quickly, and it is a bit overwhelming.  I know this is the right thing to do for my baby and the future of my family, but I worry about the strain this can cause for my kids, my husband, and my parents.  Please be in prayer for all of us during this time.  It is a time of adjustment, again!  I just know that this baby is going to do GREAT things all for the GLORY of GOD!  Can I get an AMEN?

Pure Fear

Something happened in our house last night that will be hard to forget for a while. It is slightly embarrassing (for me) to tell this story, but it is so incredible, I feel like I have to share. I need to give you a little bit of background and some set-up so you can see why the events unfolded the way they did.

BACKGROUND:

We have a 2 year old miniature schnauzer named Einstein. He is outside in our fenced back yard most of the time during the day, but we usually let him inside the house sometime during the evening, then he sleeps in a crate in our dining room. He enjoys Emma, likes Lara and Jake, tolerates Britt, and LOVES me. Especially now that I am pregnant; he is always sitting at my feet or following me through the house.

Women have vivid dreams during pregnancy. I was reading about it the other day, and 2 things happen during pregnancies that cause this. Hormones are CrAzy, and experts think that’s what causes the dream to be so real, and so strange sometimes. Plus, pregnant women seem to remember their dreams more because they either don’t at all or don’t as often go into that deep sleep phase that humans have, that comes after the dream REM sleep phase. I’ve had some super real to me, and some super strange ones, too…

I am a Twi-hard. I have read the Stephanie Meyer Twilight series books through twice, almost done with the 3^rd time around. And I have seen the movies dozens of times. I was with a group of about 10 women age 35+ for a midnight showing when Eclipse came out, and I will be at one for Breaking Dawn part 1 as well. (My boss can tell you how many days/hours/minutes away this is, I just know it is in November…) BTW, I am Team Jacob. Real men don’t sparkle, and I like my men tall, HOT and feisty!

SCENARIO

I had gone to bed about 9:30. It was a LONG day yesterday (9 hours with sorority girls during recruitment spirit week – working hard to perfect everything for recruitment next week, and then swimming lessons with Jake, then out for a quick dinner, then birthday shopping for Dad with the 3 littles. OH! And growing a human inside me.). I ate too much for dinner, (which means I ate about 1/3 of what I used to), and I was feeling pretty miserable about it. The kids had all been in bed about half an hour, there was nothing on TV, and no reason to resist, so I went to bed, trusty Kindle in my hand, settled in to read a few pages of my current guilty pleasure: Breaking Dawn. (For those in the know, Bella had just woken up from being turned, had hunted, and was meeting Renesmee for the first time. She had just realized what was going on with Jacob when I put it down…) I was worn out from my day, and I feel asleep very quickly. One of the things I usually do before I go to bed, is crate the dog. If he is already inside, I just tell him to “go to bed” and he saunters over there and gets in the crate, and I close the door and hook the latches. If he is outside, Britt usually lets him in, Einstein finds me, I pet him a bit, then I tell him to “go to bed.” When I went to bed, the dog was still in the backyard.

WHAT HAPPENED

It was about 10:30pm. I had only been asleep 20-30 minutes, but I was fast asleep and dreaming. It was hot (as usual) in our room, and I was sweaty. (I know at 9:30 Britt had said it was still 104 outside.) These days, I like to sleep in a T-shirt and underwear, no sheets on top of me, curled up with my body pillow. All I know is, something fairly heavy and furry, with sharp claws, landed on top of me, and began prodding my bare legs with something wet, squishy, and cold. I sat straight up and let out a blood curdling scream (3 times, to be exact according to my husband), and the offensive thing jumped or fell from my bed. During the 3^rd (?) scream, I hear my husband’s soothing voice coming down the hallway saying “Hey! Hey!”

Um, yeah… so, pretty funny, right? It is now, but right then, it was TERRIFYING! Once Einstein left and Britt got his arms around me, I realized tears were streaming down my face, my throat was sore (that’s how loud I screamed), I tasted vomit in my mouth, and I had dug my fingernails into the palms of my hands. Jake came out of his room (right next to ours) and was standing bleary-eyed in the hall staring at me (my screams scared the crap out of him, and he ended up sleeping with us for a bit – who can blame him!). The dog was at the other end of our 17 foot hallway, sitting (and laying at times) on the tile entryway looking down the hall at us, but he came nowhere near me, until Britt put him in his crate for the night and came to bed. I am not sure what exactly I was dreaming about, but I am pretty sure it had to do with a forest (I remember trees), and due to the content of my late night reading, I am sure it was supernatural…) Took me over an hour to get comfortable and get back to sleep. NOT something I want to repeat anytime soon.

Someday, I’ll tell you about the only other time I remember screaming like that (I need to ask my mom what happened in my childhood to make me scream like that?!?). It involves a late night drive from Dallas to Stillwater, the I-35 bridge over the Red River, and a pedestrian. That time I again scared my husband out of his wits, but I truly believe the Holy Spirit spoke to me that night…. Sigh…. Some other time, then…

Anyway! It is TAX FREE weekend! We are soon off to buy dance shoes for the girls, attend mock recruitment at the sorority house, head to the outlet mall that just opened in Oklahoma City (maybe) to back to school shop for the girls, then dinner out for Dad’s birthday! And hopefully, have dreamless sleep tonight.