Double Digits

Well, lookie there!  My ticker is down to 99 days!  Double Digits!  I remember reaching this milestone in my pregnancy with Jake and being really excited!  While I am excited, it comes with a whole different meaning this time.  I have been in this hospital room 2 weeks today.  I will be 26 weeks pregnant tomorrow.  One week left in the 2nd trimester.  My birthday is next week.  All kinds of markers being reached in the next few days!  But, the only marker I want to recognize is that I am STILL pregnant!  Every day counts at this point!

I had some pretty serious bleeding overnight Tuesday night, which left me crampy, frustrated, and lethargic yesterday.  I got a surprise visit from my AMAZING husband in the middle of the day which helped my mood immensely, and we actually napped together for a bit while he was here, so that made me feel better not only for myself, but for his physical well being as well.  I know this whole ordeal has to be taking its toll on him, too.

I know he is physically tired - we were often tired from the wear and tear of 3 kids, 2 full time jobs, and a household to run when I was home.  I can only imagine what that’s like for him now.  We are blessed with the help of my wonderful parents, but coordinating everything can be just as tiring as actually carrying out the tasks.  I know he is mentally worn out as well.  He is sad and he misses us.  Two of the most important people in his life are far away, and there is nothing he can do to hold us or protect us.  That has to be heartbreaking (I know it is for me, too).  And then when he is able to come, it’s over 2 hours in the car round trip.  When you are already physically and mentally exhausted, that can be torturous.  I just want to take a moment to honor him here, publicly, and say THANK YOU to everyone who is trying (and succeeding) at lightening his load, but to also remind you to keep praying for him. And a surprise drink from Sonic might just make his day! Britt Weaver, I love you, and I think you are doing an AMAZING job with the lot you’ve been given the past 2 weeks, and I know you are strong and can do this!  Thank you for taking on this challenge so gracefully.  I pray for you constantly!

I also want to say thank you to everyone who has visited, send cards, brought gifts, and generally made this all a bit more bearable.  The guest book is getting full - and I’ve accidentally let a few people go without signing it!  I am overwhelmed with your generosity and your thoughtfulness.  This room is definitely a lot more homey today than the day I got here when there was no guest furniture, just a hospital bed and a bunch of equipment!  Also want to say thank you, again, to the folks from my LTC lifegroup who went the extra mile to set up the Weaver Support Fund.  This gesture was totally unexpected, and we are truly grateful for the blessing it will be in months to come.

PS - I woke up exhausted this morning.  I dreamed - more than once - that I was not pregnant with one son, but with triplet girls!  I guess it could ALWAYS be worse!

Emotional Weekend

Today is Monday, and I am 25 weeks 3 days pregnant, and my baby is the size of an eggplant.  The past couple of days have been an emotional roller coaster!  Health wise, Baby Finn and I are both great.  My bleeding has been minimal to nonexistent, and of course “Dance Party” has been moving and grooving like crazy.  Even gets the hiccups pretty regularly.  But, name an emotion, and I have had it over the last few days.  Fear?  You bet!  Exhaustion?  Comes with sleepless nights.  Disappointment?  Beyond measure.  Joy?  Have you met my son, he came to see me.  Pride? I have 2 of the most well behaved red-heads you have ever met.  I could go on and on…

I have been continually blessed with visitors.  My parents came by themselves on Friday night, then my husband and 3 kids on Saturday.  Emma and Lara were only here a couple of hours before a friend whisked them away to an event filled sleepover with a good friend who used to live in Stillwater but is now here in the city.  She texted me pictures throughout their day/night, and a good time was definitely had by all!  Britt and Jake stayed here with me, and we watched our beloved OSU Cowboys beat Texas A&M.  It was so fun – and since Jake slept through most of the game, Britt and I enjoys some quiet time, too!  (Not took long after the game started, Jake asked for a blanket, curled up on the couch with his Bobby, stuck his thumb in his mouth, and was OUT for almost 3 hours!)  Sunday, my parents came again to see me, and to pick up the Twisters after their fun adventure.  They all hung out with me for a couple of hours – the girls painted their fingernails while they were here – then it was quiet for a little while.  Sunday evening, 2 families from my AMAZING LifeGroup came by, too.  It just makes the time go faster and also allows us all to build our relationships and stay connected.  I am so thankful for their kindness and diligence to help me through this crazy time in my life.

But, it was not all candy and roses this weekend.  We had a little “domestic disturbance” on the hall that left me scared, mad, helpless, and frustrated.  It actually happened the first time Thursday night.  Twice a day, they hook me up to the monitor for an hour to gauge Finn’s heart tones and my contractions.  It’s a long hour every time as I have to lay flat on my back and lie very still since he is such a wiggler and tends to get away from the monitor at least once or twice a session.  So, imagine my frustration Thursday night when my hour was up and my nurse was NOT coming back!  30 extra minutes, and a nursing student comes in, simply to turn off the machine and take the belts off me.  While that was a physical relief, I had heard the ruckus in the hall, and it had “tied up” my nurse, so I was curious, naturally!  So, she did come in several minutes later to administer meds, and she kinda of joked about the “domestic” we were having.  7 OKC police men were on the hall.  So, to small town Betsey, that was a lot, and kind of raised my awareness.  Fast Forward to Saturday night, late.  Britt and Jake were in Stillwater at the airport welcoming the OSU Cowboy football team and staff back to Stillwater when I started texting him.  The lady next door was just HYSTERICAL!  She was screaming and yelling (cussing) and throwing things (that were breaking), there was a man’s voice dishing it out just as bad as she was.  Mind you, I was hooked up to the baby monitor, basically TRAPPED to my bed, and it sounded like they were in this room with me (thin walls).  It escalated A LOT before I heard security get involved.  Plus, I was texting Britt and my friend who had my girls like crazy.  She offered to come up here, but they wouldn’t have let her in since they were dealing with this out in the hall.  Again, I am well past my hour mark on monitoring, I am now scared, helpless and MAD!   Felt so helpless!  Strapped to my bed, can’t get up, weak from being on bed rest for weeks, no lock on my door, don’t feel safe, nurses can’t get to me… SCARED!  They finally intervened and got the situation under control.  But after about an hour, it started up AGAIN!  How did he get back up on the floor?  WHO let him in???  Long story short, Britt ended up on the phone with the charge nurse for the shift at about 11:30 who came down and blew some hot air and told me they were trying to get the guy off the floor and banned from coming back (not sure of the relationship, but come to find out this lady is a bit coo coo for cocoa puffs and hates her husband/baby daddy).  She told me this patient was “not a threat to the floor,” and that “she’s just angry” which I told her was fine and good, but she was definitely a disturbance.  She asked if I wanted to move rooms to down the hall.  Um, NO!  I am settled in here, I have decorated, all my STUFF is here, I’m not moving.  To which she said, “We can bring a cart and we will help you.”  I declined again, and suggested the Crazy next door be moved.  She didn’t answer that and left thinking she had pacified me, when all she had done was stirred my pot and left me with a restless, sleepless night.

The next morning, one of my doctors came in, and we re-hashed the night’s events as well – I was making sure she too knew I was not pleased with the situation.  She patronized me and said it’s hard to witness something like that when you’re not used to living in a big city where things like that tend to happen.  UGH!  Then, she offered me anti-depressants.  REALLY?!?!  How ‘bout you just make sure I am safe, and start the psycho next door on some anti-psychotics!  I am FINE – just need to feel safe and well cared for and that I am getting my money’s worth – which I did not feel that night.

Anyway – I am better now.  And NO – I am not on any anti-depressants.  I will not dwell on that awful 12 hours, and I slept much better the next night.  My IV relocation went very well yesterday, and 2 of my doctors have now mentioned if my bleeding stays away for a week we may consider sending me home.  I am not pinning any hopes on that.  I’m not sure that is a good idea, since I would be back home on bed rest, and I would be home in my house alone all day, and that’s a scary prospect if something were to go wrong.  I feel safer (most of the time) here with nurses and doctors and medical care.  But, we’re not even to that conversation yet, so I’m not even giving it much thought.  Just thought it was interesting that 2 of the 3 doctors have now mentioned it.

I am looking forward to a lunch guest today and a solo visit from my husband tonight.  I watched some good football games and new fall TV series on the tube this week, and know I will continue to do that this week as well.  I am also proud that I got my wedding rings off for the first time in MONTHS so I sent them back to Stillwater with Britt for a good cleaning and to be re-plated, as they were SO dirty.  Not sure if I will put them back on or not…

Also, notice the new link at the top of the page.  Members of my LifeGroup have started a bank account for us to help with medical bills.  I would like to publicly thank Gabi Martin, Daniel Thrasher, John Crawford and the rest of LTC for making this happen for us.  We have no idea what the financial ramifications of this ordeal will be, but it will be stressful for our family, and we are grateful for the offer to help.

Friday - turning the calendar

Made it to Friday!  A great day for a TON of reasons!  My top 3 (for this specific Friday) are as follows: 1 - I made it to 25 weeks!  2 - It’s the first day of Fall - so glad to say good bye to the hottest, most oppressive summer on record! 3 - It’s “Field Day” at my kids’ elementary school, so they get to spend a few hours competing in friendly competitions with their friends outside, while raising money for school projects.  They look forward to it every year, and this one is no exception!  We usually work really hard at getting pledges to add to the fund drive, but it just wasn't in the cards this year!  But, they are taking the little bit they did raise, and I know it will make a difference in their school!


I’m a little sad to be missing things at home.  I missed several things this week, and it’s been a bit harder than I thought it would be.  Everything was left in VERY capable hands, but it was still a lonely feeling to know all this fun/exciting/different stuff was going on without me.  I missed my 2 days of set up out at the Fairgrounds for the Adorable Affordables sale - AND the pre-sale shopping frenzy that I love so much.  I missed the parent meeting for the math tutoring program Emma and Lara are participating in.  I missed Lara’s eye doctor appointment where she got to pick out new frames for her new glasses (I hear they are pink and sparkly and I can’t wait to see them!).  I missed Vision Night with Pastor Craig Groeschel at LifeChurch.tv Stillwater.  But most of all, I missed BEING with my family.  Jake called me 2 nights in a row in tears lamenting the fact that he had not seen me in DAYS!  A friend posted on my Facebook wall that we should try Skype.  I have never used it, but I think that might be a good idea.  I downloaded the software, but now I need 2 cameras with integrated mics - one for my laptop here and one for the desktop at home.


I am blessed by visitors, however!  And that is SO NICE on so many levels.  It not only makes the days go faster (which I love), it also helps me feel connected.  Plus, they bring me things I didn’t know I needed!  Like my sweet friend who used to live in Stillwater who is now in the City who had brought her 5 week old son to me TWICE for cuddle time.  Now THAT is a good visit!  :)  But the Lysol wipes, notepads, Diet Cokes, crackers, peanut butter and all the HUGS mean so much.  Thank you to ALL of you for making this more bearable.


I am still bleeding a tiny bit.  No new “incidents,” and I am still stable.  I have the IV in my arm “just in case,” but have had no fluids or meds other than my water I drink diligently, my prenatal vitamin, and the ever present Colace!  I did have some pretty painful (and annoying) groin pain last evening and last night (that is gone now due to a good night’s sleep and a shower) that the nurse helped me figure out was from Finn being LOW in my pelvis with “a body part” (we don’t know which one) that was hitting a nerve.  it was so painful it was making me nauseous!  But, sleeping on my side helped him move away from the area, and I feel fine this morning.

I hope everyone has a GREAT weekend!  I am really looking forward to seeing my family  I miss them so much!  And maybe we can get Sykpe set up and Jake and I can pray by computer each night instead of over the phone! 

(PS - Finn has the hiccups right now for the ump-teenth time in the last few days!)

Hospital Bed Rest

Livin’ in the OC!  OK - it’s not as glamorous or exciting as Orange County, CA, but Oklahoma City has is pluses!  I have been a (temporary) resident for 4 and a half days now.  And I gotta say, after the initial shock started to wear off, it’s not so bad.  Pretty sure I cried 15 out of the first 18 hours I was here, but things have evened out a bit, and I know this is the ONLY thing I can be doing right now.  I have been trying to get this blog entry penned typed for 2 days now, but being here is surprisingly time consuming and busy.  Let me unpack the last few days for you.

Last I blogged was on Wednesday of last week, and I was in the Stillwater hospital, being told I will probably go to Mercy in Oklahoma City either Thursday or Friday.  I woke up Thursday morning with nothing really going on.  Since Wednesday was kinda nuts, my mom had the kids and decided to skip a trip to see me before taking them to school.  Britt came by, hoping to catch the doctor on rounds, but left right about 8 to get to work.  Of course, my doctor came in at 8:10!  Nothing new was really said, just that he was going to consult with the specialists in OKC again and start talking about the transfer and how that was going to happen.  Still seemed like a pretty distant event, and after he left, I am pretty sure I went back to sleep.  At just past noon, he walked in again.  I remember being pretty surprised to see him so soon, and also thinking how strange it was that he was the last person in my room as well - I had no visitors that morning!  Surprise quickly turned to shock when he asked about Britt’s whereabouts and how quickly he could get here.  I knew that was not a good sign.  The doctor went on to tell me that as soon as we could get checked out and down the road, we needed to be seen at the specialists’ office, then we would be admitted from there.  *JAW DROP.*  This was happening, and NOW!


My first phone call was to Britt after the doctor left the room to get me discharged from SMC.  He, of course, was caught as much off guard as I was!  I told him not to hurry, but to wrap things up at work and get here ASAP.  Then, I called my mom.  She assumed I was wanting some lunch and was talking on top pf me offering me suggestions of what she was close to.  I finally got a word in and told her the situation.  I asked her to go to the school and get my babies so I could see them before I left.  Amazingly, she and the kids got to the hospital before Britt did, so I got to hug on them and hang out with them for a few (come to find out Britt had stopped by the house to get a few things).  It was about 12:45 when I was loaded up and the kids were headed back to school and I was headed to the city.  We stopped for food (I hadn’t eaten) and gas and were on our way.  I am not sure what time we arrived at the doctor’s office, but it was raining and parking was a mess.  I was a walk-in patient to the clinic, and when I checked in, they informed me that both doctors who were in clinic (there are 3 physicians on staff there) had been called to the hospital for deliveries, so they were an hour behind!  YIKES!  I was worried I would be sitting there an eternity.  Again, not sure how long we waited, but after awhile we were called back, and it was a quick “appointment.”  The technician did a quick ultrasound, the doctor came in and did one, too, then we were escorted by a nurse through back hall ways, building bridges, elevators and walkways to the antepartum wing of Labor and Delivery at Mercy Health Center.  They had been advised of my arrival from Stillwater, so after some minimal paperwork (standing up at a counter - I was getting light headed by this point after being down for weeks) I was in a gown in a room about 4:00pm.  That’s when the real fun began!


Let’s not sugar coat this.  This was (is) a traumatic experience.  By this point in the day, every nerve I have was frayed, my patience had been tested beyond its limits, my physical body had taken a beating, and I was scared.  Oh, and dehydrated.  So, the next few hours were a blur of tears, failed IV and/or blood draw attempts (2 nurses, 75 minutes, at least 6 sticks), instruction, confusion and more tears.  My admitting doctor came in on rounds during the IV fiasco and suggested a central line, but not too long after that a very “aggressive” nurse came in and basically jammed the IV into my right hand.  It still hurts like heck (they are moving it today - I have still not convinced myself the PIC line in the best alternative to having an IV and having it moved every 4 days, plus a blood draw every 3 days...)  While (trying to) get settled in, Britt ran to Target for a few things I needed - we had come from Stillwater basically empty handed.  Our room was void of furniture due to a baby boom and some furniture being sent out to be recovered.  So, that left no place for Britt to sleep that first night.  I started trying to send him home about 7:30 pm, but it was breaking his heart what they were doing to me and all my tears, so it was closer to 9:30 before he finally left.  I was expecting a call from him around 10:45 from home, so imagine my surprise when he called at that time declaring he was “finally back on the road.”  I was very confused, then SHOCKED to learn he had a blow out north of Guthrie on I-35 as he was headed home!  REALLY?!?!?  What more could we endure that day?


But, sleep finally came for all of us.  The shock and stress of the day started to fade away.  As my mother always says, “Tomorrow is another day.”  And it was.  Friday came and we all started adjusting to our new reality.  The last 4 days are kind of a blur of getting into a routine, learning about the hospital, deciding what works and doesn’t work for me from the menu, listening to Baby Finn’s heart tones on the monitor, tears, and VISITORS!  Whew!  Surprisingly, this bed rest is hard work!  It is pretty hard on your body.  God didn’t make us to be this idle, and it really tires you out!  Plus, my iPhone dings like crazy with texts, phone calls, voice mails, Twitter alerts mentioning me, Facebook status updates and notifications, plus the never ending emails!  So, managing all of that seems to keep me busy, too.  OH!  And Words with Friends.  You people KILL me every game, but I like playing!  My kids have been up here 3 times, my parents twice, Britt a few times (yesterday even by himself!  BLISS!), and almost countless others.  Britt got me a little guest book to have folks sign, and I know we are going to treasure that forever.  I also have some owl friends watching over me, and the big family portrait on canvas from my living room at home is now hanging over the couch (we finally got guest furniture on Sunday after some families were discharged).  I have snacks, books, magazines, gift cards, chocolate, jelly beans, plastic ware, chargers for all my electronics, toiletries, and pretty much everything I think I could need at this point in baskets and a cabinet near my bed.  My sister-in-law is determined to come decorate.  I hope to be here for a long, LONG time, so everyone is trying to make this place feel like a home.  It’s getting there!


As for our health.  Things are staying the course.  Today, I am back to spotting and bleeding a small amount.  I actually had 2 days of no blood at all, but on rounds one morning my doctor told me not to get too secure in that, as my pattern has been to be stable for a few days, then have a huge incident.  I have also not had any cramping or contractions since I have been here.  While I have an IV port in my hand, I have not had any IV fluids or meds.  They draw my blood every 3 days for basic tests, but I am totally stable.  They check my BP and temp every 5-6 hours, and they monitor Finn on the heart tone monitor for one hour 2x a day.  That little adventure can prove to be tiring - taking up to 2.5 hours depending on how active Finn is being!  He’s still so little and has so much room to move around, we lose his tracking several times during the hour and have to move the monitor and start over.  BUT!  Every time they do it the nurses are super impressed with his activity level and heart rare.  He is doing SO WELL and is SO STRONG!  The doctor who did rounds this morning even mentioned how great his tracks are!  Good job, Little Buddy!  The nurses and staff are EXCELLENT, and I have been blessed with the same (awesome) day nurse everyday that I have been here.  And when she’s on duty, she will be with me!  That’s such a comfort and a great way to establish a relationship!


And for what lies ahead.  I am to “Lay still and know that he is God.”  (Paraphrase of Psalm 46:10 - my Uncle wrote this in the guest book.)  I am 24 weeks 4 days today.  We are still a few days from that HUGE 25 week date which marks viability in my little world.  That’s Friday.  And we can breathe a *tiny* sign of relief. Each week, each 24 hours after that is a huge blessing and one step closer to a healthy baby.  The doctor told us on Thursday that we are on a sliding scale right now.  It would take a LARGE event to spur delivery at this point, but as time goes on and the baby continues to grow, it would take a smaller and smaller event to put us into delivery.  I really want to be here 6-10 weeks at least.  That’s 30- 32 weeks gestation.  I’m 4 days in.  I can do this, right?


Things are a bit chaotic on the home front in Stilly, but Britt and my parents are working it out with the help of our AMAZING LifeGroup and other friends.  They are still getting meals, help with kid transport, and tons of offers for babysitting.  I know this is hard on everyone, and I just pray as the weeks progress we can all find a routine.  Please continue to pray for Finn and I, but also those in Stillwater left to fill in the gaps created by my being here.  I obviously would  not be anywhere else, but I get sad thinking about all I am missing out on back home, and how hard others are working to make sure it all goes off smoothly.

I am in a good mood today and had a great day yesterday.  Right now I am in the last 30 minutes of my morning Finn monitoring, and he is doing great.  I am excited to see what the next few days bring so I can share that with you, too.  In the meantime, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.”  James 5:16

Deja Vu - All over again!

So, the last time I blogged was Friday.  It is now Wednesday night.  I have been to and from the hospital twice during that time.  Friday and Saturday were uneventful.  Getting used to this bed rest thing and sleeping whenever I wanted to!   Friday night was “date night.”  The girls were in OKC with their other Dad, and some friends brought us pizza, cheesecake, movies and flowers, and took Jake with them for a few hours so Britt could just RELAX and spend time with his bride.  I had a huge giggle fit during one of the movies, and we really enjoyed our time together.  Saturday was pretty quiet - Jake had a birthday party to go to and Britt made a Wal-Mart run for groceries.  Just a nice relaxing day.

Overnight  Saturday night I woke up to one of my infamous “gush” feelings.  Only this time, it didn’t feel the same.  I actually got some on the bed, and upon further inspection, it looks less like blood and more like fluid.  That’s no good.  That’s scary!  So, at 2:30 am, we loaded up Jake, his blanket, “Bobby” (his lovie) and headed BACK to L&D.  Because I was still bleeding, they could not check to see if what I was leaking was actually amniotic fluid, but they did over an ultra sound.  One of my favorite moments from the wee hours of the morning was when Britt and Jake had gotten all settled in on the fold out couch/bed thing, and I was hooked up to monitors so we could hear Finn’s heart tones, AND all his movement.  Jake looks up, looks around and says, “I can’t sleep with Finn’s heart beating so loud!”  Little did he know what a comfort that was to Mom and Dad.  

My doctor was in Colorado for the weekend, so one of his associates was on call.  She ordered the ultrasound, which again showed Baby to be doing SO well.  The only concern was that the dark spots (presumable clots) from last Wednesday were now bigger.  NOT what we wanted to hear, but still manageable.  So, they observed me for a few more hours, my bleeding never really got any worse, the doctor declared it a “bladder spasm” and that I had leaked urine (I still don’t believe that), and she released me to go back home to bed rest.

Monday and Tuesday passed by with lots of book reading and a little TV watching.  I had been gifted a Visa card for online shopping, so I had ordered Glee Season 2 on DVD (which arrived Tuesday) and several books for my Kindle.  In the meantime, my Kindle’s screen froze up (still haven’t called about that), so I had to download the books to my iPhone, but I still managed to read 3 books in 2 days.  WOW!  But, Tuesday evening I started not feeling well.  Just “off” somehow.  About 11pm, I decided I was constipated, so I sent the ever gallant husband to the store for some relief.  He got back, I took some meds, and we went to bed - hoping for relief in the morning...

I never really made it to “morning.”  I woke up at 1, still not feeling well, but not wanting to disturb my exhausted hubby, so I opted to try the couch.  At this point, I was feeling pretty crampy, and was praying it didn’t turn into contractions.  I slept off and on (and drank about 40 oz of water) until about 3:30, when I decided I was so uncomfortable I couldn’t bare it.  I made (yet another) trip to the restroom, trying for some relief - to no avail.  I laid on the couch some more, then decided I might feel better if I showered (it has been 5 days, and I know I am on strict bed rest,  but I was DIRTY and my hair - forget about it!).  That DID NOT help!  While I felt cleaner, I was now having contractions, and at a loss as to what I should be doing.  I was pacing the floor, I had finally gotten Britt in on the drama, and he was ready to go to the hospital LONG before I was!  I was not wanting to go BACK to L&D AGAIN!  I didn’t want to be poked and prodded.  I didn’t want an IV or blood draw, but most importantly, I didn’t want a nurse I had never had before that I had to explain my while story to AGAIN!  Needless to say, I was crying, in pain, and indecisive.  Britt got dressed, and said he was ready when I was.  At 5:30, I reluctantly got in the car with him - leaving the 3 kids at home and texting my mom to come hang with the littles.

The other thing I don’t like about coming to the hospital at that time at night is that it is still locked up, and you have to go through the ER, which adds TIME to the process.  Ugh Ugh Ugh.  And, lo and behold, I got a nurse who didn’t know my situation - AT ALL.  She was P*SSING me off, saying all the wrong things, and I knew more about what needed to be done with me than she did - simply because she didn’t know.  Once I was hooked up and being monitored, Britt and I were left to cry with each other.  I was having very painful contractions (which were not registering on the monitor, so the nurse kept saying I wasn’t having any!), and I just felt crappy.  That’s when it happened...

About 6:45... WORST. PAIN. EVER!  Up to this point, my blood had been pretty light.  I hadn’t even been bleeding when we left the house, but I did have a gush right as we got to the hospital.  But this next event is not for the squeamish to read.  if you are easily offended, skip to the next paragraph.  So, I was writing in pain, crying, and trying to spread my pain out by crushing my husband’s hand.  Then, I felt *something* come out “down there.”  The contraction let go, and i said to Britt, “I don’t know what just happened, but it was BIG!!!”  He asked if he should look, I said he could do what he wanted to - so he looked.  Then immediately pressed the nurse call button, got up, shivered, and crossed the room.   the nurse cam in to look at “it,” gathered up the pad I was sitting on and told us she was going to show “it” to the other nurses.  A little later, my day nurse came in, and we were talking about “it” - the blood clot.  She told me it was the size of a Chihuahua.  WHAT?!?!?  Of all the things in this world to compare it to, THAT’S what she chose???  LOL!  We had a good laugh about that all day.

Sonogram was next - and (as usual) Finn is doing great!  Having a dance party - just like he always does.  (Every time they came to monitor him today they had to chase him around my belly to keep a track on the heart tones!)  He has grown a lot, and now weighs 1
pound 7 ounces and measures right on track.  He had plenty of fluid, and all is great for him.  And, GLORY to GOD - she saw NONE of the spots and clots the other sonographers have been watching!  Is this it?  Was that the last of it?  The doctor came in not too much later (he was between surgery cases), and was pleased with the sono report, but was a bit worried about one of the numbers on my blood test, so he told me he wanted me to stay overnight and re-do the blood draw in the morning.  He also said we still have no idea what this is or why it is happening.  He said in his 30 years of having a medical license, he has NEVER seen a case like this.  I am causing him bald spots as he scratches his head while thinking about my case.  In the meantime, he was going to call my specialist at Mercy and see what they thought the next step should be.

I had a few more small contractions after I birthed the Chihuahua, and a few more after the sonogram, and none since then.  I feel SO MUCH BETTER!  And my bleeding has tapered off as the day went along.  I am comfortable in a regular recovery room, and settling in for the stay.  The afternoon/evening were a bit nutty getting everyone where they needed to be, but I got to see my kids for a minute, and even had a “mini” LifeGroup in my hospital room.

But, there was some not quite as exciting news this evening, too.  My doctor came in, and he had consulted with my specialist earlier today.  The verdict?  Since we don’t know what this is, and I only seem to stay stable a couple of days, I am being transferred to hospital bed rest at Mercy in OKC sometime Thursday or Friday for the duration of this pregnancy.  While we feel I am not in imminent danger of delivering, we need to be close to the NICU just in case.  It really is the best situation for all of us.

This is a scary time for me, and for my family.  A lot of changes are happening very quickly, and it is a bit overwhelming.  I know this is the right thing to do for my baby and the future of my family, but I worry about the strain this can cause for my kids, my husband, and my parents.  Please be in prayer for all of us during this time.  It is a time of adjustment, again!  I just know that this baby is going to do GREAT things all for the GLORY of GOD!  Can I get an AMEN?

What a Ride

Today is day 10.  Day 10 of flat on my back, on my couch or in my bed, not leaving the house (except to go to the hospital or Doctor’s office), other people catering to my every, single need.  Day 10 of wondering how long we are going to go this, how much is too much, and what else can I do.  Day 10 of a ride I never EVER thought I would be on (have you heard that a lot since April from me?  I know...)  I have good days and bad days.  Good moments and bad moments.  Periods of unwavering faith, and pure doubt and fear.  This is one crazy roller coaster!  But, I am keeping my eye on the prize, and the finish line will SO be worth it!  Christmas with my newborn son, Finn!  Let’s go back to the beginning - Monday the 29th (the last day I blogged!)

Monday, August 29 - I had a regular OB appointment that afternoon.  Typical in and out appointment: urine check, weight, BP, Doppler for the heartbeat, out the door.  I was told I would have to do the icky orange drink to test for gestational diabetes next time, and that would be in 4 weeks.  Easy-peasy.  See you then.

Tuesday, August 30   - normal Tuesday for most of the day.  There was a PTA meeting that evening at our elementary school, so we went.  Although sitting in the small, hard aluminum folding chair was not the most comfortable thing on the planet, it was working fine.  The meeting us running a few minutes long, and I needed to pee, so I had told Britt the minute it adjourned, I was out the door to the potty.  He had actually gotten up a few minutes before it was over to stand in the back and be ready to assist with putting the chairs away when we were done.  So, the gavel sounded, I stood up, and headed towards the exit to the hall. That’s when I felt something warm and wet running down my leg.  I thought Oh, S^*#!  I just peed myself!  But, I was headed towards my husband, his eyes were bigger than half dollars, he called my name in a panicked voice I never hear, and it prompted me to look down.  BLOOD.  Everywhere.  Initially, The 2 main feelings were embarrassment and shock.  That quickly turned to panic and fear!  Fast Forward through some details, and we were in the ER about 15 minutes after that (would have been a bit faster but we had to find out kids on the playground).  Once in the ER reception area, they asked how pregnant I was (21 weeks) and had nurses from Labor & Delivery come get my in a wheel chair.  After a stressful evening of poking, prodding, doctor visits, prayer vigils in the parking lot, visitors to my room, lots of monitoring and very little sleep, it was finally morning and time for an ultrasound.

Wednesday, August 31 - started off with an ultrasound first thing in the morning.  GREAT news - Finn is fine.  Growing steadily, perfect heart rate, fluid levels are great, kicking, flipping, and being cute as every on the fuzzy little screen.  Placenta is right where is should be and attached all the way across as it should be; cervix is long and closed.  The technician did find a small blood clot near the cervix (remnants of “The Spot” perhaps?  Britt and I believe so) that looked to be a few small dark areas, but she didn’t seem too concerned about them.  Unfortunately, I was also having MANY strong contractions that morning, and that is bad news.  We had to get them under control, but they cannot medicate for those if you are actively bleeding.  So, it was rest, water, rest and relax to get them to stop.  They lasted pretty steadily though lunch, but were done by early afternoon.  Spent the rest of the day in the hospital.  My Doctor came by in the early afternoon and said I should stay another night.

Thursday, September 1 - Bleeding was getting much better, I was feeling better, and the Doctor said if I could get up and walk the halls without it causing more bleeding, I could go home that afternoon.  I spent the morning in bed, but after lunch one of the AMAZING nurses that had been with me over the course of this adventure took me and my IV pole on a walk.  While I was still bleeding a little bit, the trip didn’t cause any major bleeding, so after a phone call to my doctor, I got to go home - to strict bed rest - that afternoon.  Made an appointment to follow up with my doctor in a week.  Once I got home (I took a shower) and started settling in, it really hit me how hard this was going to be.  My kids had been with my parents this whole time, and I know it is stressful for EVERYONE!  I was definitely overwhelmed by the reality that was setting in.

Friday, September 2 - the kids didn’t have school this day, and I ignorantly thought I could handle it.  By 10 am I was begging Britt to find something for them to do in the afternoon.  Sweet friends rescued me!  The kids went on a play date, then my mom took them back to her house after she got off work, so I got a solid afternoon of sleep.  This was the night food started rolling in, and we met with our life group leaders to come up with a plan for helping us.  My husband is taking on SO MUCH MORE responsibility with all of this, and I fear he will hit a wall, so we are trying to keep him going, and keep me gestating!  I felt better emotionally after Friday night's meeting - I felt like there was a plan, and people to help, and things would be OK!

Saturday, September 3 - While I made myself cozy on the couch, the kids found games to play, rode bikes, and generally behaved pretty well.  Britt started cleaning the house, and rearranging furniture, trying to make this place work for our new reality.  He even got Jake’s old crib out and set it up for Finn!  The kids had another swimming play date this afternoon, too, so I got to rest while Britt worked around the house.  Pretty uneventful day - medically.  Later that evening, my bleeding increased a bit, but we weren’t too worried, as the nurses had told us I would still bleed for awhile, so I went to bed, satisfied with the day.

Sunday, September 4 - Everyone slept in, thankfully!  We were lazing around in bed, thinking about getting up so Britt and the kids could get ready to go to church in about an hour.  I got up to go to the bathroom, and while in there, I had another HUGE bleeding incident, including large clots. It scared me, alarmed Britt, and back to the hospital and L&D we went!  Called my mom to come sit with the kids while we loaded the car, told Emma she was in charge, and out the door we went!  Again, so impressed with the care I received.  It was not 5 minutes from the time we got out of our car in the parking lot that I was in a gown in a bed with a baby monitor strapped to my belly!  I was again having a few mild contractions - caused by the bleeding making my uterus “hostile,” but nothing like earlier in the week.  My doctor was out of town, but the on-call doctor was the one who discharged us a few years ago when Jake was born, and we know him socially as well.  He ordered an ultrasound, which again showed Finn and his environment to be perfect.  He, too, saw some even smaller clots near the cervix (“The Spot?”), but he saw them smaller and fewer than what was seen earlier in the week.  The on-call doctor decided to keep me about 6 hours for observation.  Spent the day resting, drinking water and greeting visitors, then got to go home around 5pm.  Home again, home again!  Settled back in to my bed rest, and just trying to stay flat.

Monday, September 5 - Thursday, September 8 - BED REST!  Monday was a holiday, so again, ALL my people were home with me.  So glad for the time with my kids and my husband, but this day was emotionally hard for me as the physical realities of my restrictions really set in.  I couldn’t help the kids do the things they wanted to do.  It seemed like every 5 minutes there was something just beyond my reach that I wanted or needed.  But, we were all figuring out the ways to best help me.  Again, my kids were surprisingly well behaved, and have adjusted so well.  The girls are really being helpful and considerate, and I think it finally clicked with Jake on Wednesday that I literally can’t get up and help him.  Lara is always checking my water cup and asking if I need refills!  Things started to fall in to a routine, and the highs and lows began to even out a bit.  We are by no means experts at our new routine, but better than the first 4 days of pure chaos!  I think one of the main stresses for Britt and I right now is trying to figure out my job situation and the paperwork process.  You only have a few days after being admitted to the hospital to file certain things.  That’s a little hard when you are SICK and on BED REST and can’t DO anything, plus the holiday weekend, and we are now in a bit of a scramble to meet deadlines.  Plus, we are not sure how long this will last and what to apply for, so it has been a bit of a maze (as well as a headache!) for us - and mainly Britt since he is the one having to DO everything.  Wednesday evening we squeezed 19 people in our tiny living room for Life Group - they came to me since I can't go to them!  So blessed!  Then, I had an appointment with my regular OB Thursday afternoon.  Such a blessing to hear Finn’s heartbeat on the Doppler!  This had been the longest I had gone without hearing or seeing him in awhile!  He’s still doing great!  I, am still not.  LOL!  My doctor recommended going back to the specialist in 10-14 days (when I am 25 weeks along) to discuss next steps and baby viability (According to data years 2003-2005, 20 to 35 percent of babies born at 23 weeks of gestation survive, while 50 to 70 percent of babies born at 24 to 25 weeks, and more than 90 percent born at 26 to 27 weeks, survive. ~ Wikipedia).  So, we left our paper work with him, made a return appointment with him for next week, and came home to bed.  My appointment with the specialist in the city in on the 26th (I will be 25 weeks and 3 days pregnant).

So, here I lay!  Typing this has been a mess - it is hard to type laying down!  Plus, it brings all my emotions back to the surface.  My prayers are for strength for my husband, understanding for my children, patience for me, and growth, safety and stability for Finn.  Also, for the physicians, nurses, technicians, and all medical professionals involved in our care.  I pray for my employers and the decisions they have to make, as well as the insurance companies handling my case.  This reminds me so much of where were were in April when my brother died.  It is the WORST moment of your life, and you have to make a MILLION decisions in the middle of your grief and pain.  Here I am being told to rest and relax, again, while my whole world is in a complete whirlwind - so many needs that need to be met!  I saw God show off this week with a sweet friend who has cancer and was faced with more complications, but multitudes of people prayed Sun Stand Still prayers with her and for her, and it worked.  I’ve seen His miracles over and over and over with this pregnancy, and I know He will continue to provide!  You just watch!