Ch-ch-ch-changes…

I am writing this in the evening, with another SPLITTING headache. I usually write in the mornings, but as I sit here with my son, watching TV, I felt compelled to write a few things down. For the most part, the last 2 weeks have been all consumed by these horrendous headaches. 2 nights ago, it turned to a migraine, and I was the most miserable I have been this entire pregnancy. I wake up in the mornings doing pretty good; I eat breakfast, go to work, and have productive times. Then, I eat lunch, and it all goes downhill from there. Not long after I eat, I start feeling sluggish and tired, and then the headache comes. By 7 pm, I am useless. This is wretched. I am ready for some relief.

But the thought that led to this post was about my son, Jake. He is the light of my life, the funniest person in my life (Have you seen his Twitter?), next to his Dad, and I never thought I could love another human being as much as I love this boy. He is almost 4 and a half years old, and I wish I could bottle this age. You know, that’s why I started the Twitter account – I want to remember him this way. So, as we were watching So You Think You Can Dance (he loves this!), he was lying across my lap, eating potato chips he had begged his dad for, and I was rubbing his back, I got a little sentimental and a bit sad. I got to thinking how moments like this are going to become even more rare over the next year. I was thinking how it was kind of sad that Jake wouldn’t be the “baby” anymore (not that he ever acts like the baby, but he’s MY baby). I love being his mom and watching him as he grows and learns. It makes me weepy to think that the next year is really going to change that. Don’t get me wrong, I love Love *LOVE* this SHOCKER baby, I (like all humans) am just resistant to change…

EDITED TO ADD:
Not 30 seconds after I finished posting this, the craziest thing happened!  While I was typing, Jake was lying in his dad's recliner watching TV and looking through an album of pictures from our Bowl trip to Arizona in 2007.  Right as I was finishing up, he looked over at me with huge sad eyes, the deepest frown you have ever seen, crocodile tears running down his cheeks, and he says "Mommy? I always want to be the baby.  I want to be the baby because babies are tiny and I want to be tiny."  I have no idea how he knew what I was thinking about tonight!  I never said a word to him about what I was thinking or typing...  WOW.  We are just THAT connected.  LOVE THAT BOY!